Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. #1

    Default I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    My question involves child support in the State of: Florida.

    I was with my ex-fiance on and off for 4 years. She got pregnant and had a child in October of 2007, which she convinced me was mine without a doubt, so I signed the birth certificate. We then split and she applied for state assistance which required her to file for child support. I have been paying child support since November of 2009. I had a home DNA test done this past week which revealed that the child is actually NOT mine as was previously thought. Is there any way I can have the child support order dropped at this point?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    15,931

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Read here, then speak with a local attorney.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

  3. #3

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Probably not. Your time to have questioned paternity was BEFORE signing the birth certificate. You could have questioned paternity again when the child support issue came up, but apparantly didn't. As far as the courts are concerned, if you're willing to start paying child support without getting a paternity test, they are not going to penalize the child by taking away that support later, UNLESS there is an "actual" father who can be tapped to support the child, and even in cases where such a father is found, there's no guarantee that the court would take the burden from you and shift it to another man (biological father). Unless some other man steps up and says "hey judge, I'm this child's real father, and I'm ready to assume my responsibilities and enjoy my rights", I wouldn't expect a change at this point. Courts want children to have TWO parents. You willingly put yourself out there as one of them, and functioned as one of them by paying child support without paternity contest. I would absolutely speak to a family law attorney who specializes in paternity actions - I'd even take the time to talk to 2 or 3 of them if possible, because another dozen plus years of child support is a lot of money. On top of that, if you're not the actual father, then there is some OTHER guy out there who may not even know that he's missing out on his children, and getting an attorney involved is really the only possible way to even begin to attempt to make things "right" - IF any change will be considered by the court at this point.


    ::::climbing on soap box::::


    To all you men out there, please help to teach EACH OTHER this important lession: NEVER SIGN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OR PAY SUPPORT FOR A CHILD BORN OUTSIDE OF A LEGAL MARRIAGE WITHOUT A DNA TEST. No matter WHAT you think, or what she tells you, how absolutely certain you are, no matter how much the baby looks like you, etc. because once you let that ink dry with you recognized as the legal father, it could remain that way forever. If there is some man in your life that you care about, make sure that he knows this, and pays it forward to the men in their own lives.

    ::::jumps down:::
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    26,467

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Probably not. Your time to have questioned paternity was BEFORE signing the birth certificate. You could have questioned paternity again when the child support issue came up, but apparantly didn't. As far as the courts are concerned, if you're willing to start paying child support without getting a paternity test, they are not going to penalize the child by taking away that support later, UNLESS there is an "actual" father who can be tapped to support the child, and even in cases where such a father is found, there's no guarantee that the court would take the burden from you and shift it to another man (biological father). Unless some other man steps up and says "hey judge, I'm this child's real father, and I'm ready to assume my responsibilities and enjoy my rights", I wouldn't expect a change at this point. Courts want children to have TWO parents. You willingly put yourself out there as one of them, and functioned as one of them by paying child support without paternity contest. I would absolutely speak to a family law attorney who specializes in paternity actions - I'd even take the time to talk to 2 or 3 of them if possible, because another dozen plus years of child support is a lot of money. On top of that, if you're not the actual father, then there is some OTHER guy out there who may not even know that he's missing out on his children, and getting an attorney involved is really the only possible way to even begin to attempt to make things "right" - IF any change will be considered by the court at this point.


    ::::climbing on soap box::::


    To all you men out there, please help to teach EACH OTHER this important lession: NEVER SIGN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OR PAY SUPPORT FOR A CHILD BORN OUTSIDE OF A LEGAL MARRIAGE WITHOUT A DNA TEST. No matter WHAT you think, or what she tells you, how absolutely certain you are, no matter how much the baby looks like you, etc. because once you let that ink dry with you recognized as the legal father, it could remain that way forever. If there is some man in your life that you care about, make sure that he knows this, and pays it forward to the men in their own lives.

    ::::jumps down:::

    *THUNDEROUS applause*

    Thunderous, I say.




    I really really think this post should be "stickied".
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    15,931

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    I really really think this post should be "stickied".
    As we know from Emancipation threads, no one ever reads the stickies.

    (They never listened to the "Dude, TWO forms of contraception!!" lectures I gave at Planned Parenthood, either.)
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
    Caution: I bite. WARNING: Do not send questions or complaints by PM. I'm likely to post them publicly and embarrass you half to death.
    I'm training for the MS Society's Bike to the Bay - and blogging about it!

  6. #6

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Quote Quoting LawResearcherMissy
    View Post
    (They never listened to the "Dude, TWO forms of contraception!!" lectures I gave at Planned Parenthood, either.)
    That's cause you gotta say "yo, dude." It's the "yo", that gets their attention and gets your point across - otherwise they think you're talking about every OTHER dude, and that whatever you're saying obviously doesn't apply to them. (Biology being so diverse between humans, ya know.)

    ::::going back to edit my post to add some "yo's" :::::
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    MISSOURI
    Posts
    42

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    There are a million Emacipated minor threads.....Im sure if I had read back further I would have found one that answered my original post which brought me to this forum in the first place lol

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    529

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    To all you men out there, please help to teach EACH OTHER this important lession: NEVER SIGN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE OR PAY SUPPORT FOR A CHILD BORN OUTSIDE OF A LEGAL MARRIAGE WITHOUT A DNA TEST. No matter WHAT you think, or what she tells you, how absolutely certain you are, no matter how much the baby looks like you, etc. because once you let that ink dry with you recognized as the legal father, it could remain that way forever. If there is some man in your life that you care about, make sure that he knows this, and pays it forward to the men in their own lives.
    True............But any man reading this probably already signed the BC and that why that why they are in this forum in the first place.

  9. #9

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Quote Quoting Lawrence084
    View Post
    True............But any man reading this probably already signed the BC and that why that why they are in this forum in the first place.
    Without a time machine, the forum unfortunately can't be of much help. We've simply been unable to get people to come to the forum to be told that they need to think of consequences of actions (or lack thereof) BEFORE they act...Which is exactly why I extoll the fact that any man who finds himself in such a situation needs to go get in his father's face, his coach's face, his teacher's faces, his friend's faces, or the face of any other man in a position within his life to have cared enough about him to have imparted this VITAL and LIFE CHANGING information - to grab them and shake them and demand to know: "why didn't YOU tell me this"! The very fact that they don't GET this information until AFTER that ink on the birth certificate is closed within a file is 50% of the problem!

    The women who get pregnant first, and then play the game of picking from the best possible daddies when forced to name a father to collect benefits is the other half - and I've got some pretty unkind words for their mothers, older sisters, teachers, coaches, and BFF's too. But the simple fact is that we've come a long way from accepting a woman's word for "who's daddy", and men hold the ultimate trump card in the game via genetic testing, but only to the extent that they are educated by their parents and peers to PLAY that card, and not hold it until after the game is OVER. (We already know that the directive of "don't make babies with someone that you're not committed enough to to marry" obviously doesn't work, so the "don't sign NUTHIN without CHECKIN" mantra comes into play.)

    Ultimately, even if the child has the (supposed/intended) stability of two parents at one level, the child at another level ends up with at least ONE parent with some hefty emotional baggage - because there simply can't be a complete dearth of emotional consequences to a man to first learn that the child he's come to love isn't his own, but then to have the situation of paying support on top of it. If that doesn't shake a man to his very core, I'm not sure what would. But we as a society are doing a piss poor job, especially mano e mano, at education and prevention of the problem, which is an incredibly predictable one, and whose manifestation all too often results not only in dads raising (or hopefully at least supporting) someone else's children with some level of resentment, but in many cases with circumstances like this one, also serves to rob the child and the REAL father (who incidently also apparantly wasn't married to mom either) of the chance to discover each other and forge a relationship from an early age.

    We simply can't save or even help them all...but they can certainly serve as examples to others I guess.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    529

    Default Re: I Found Out After Three Years That My Daughter is Not Mine

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
    View Post
    Without a time machine, the forum unfortunately can't be of much help. We've simply been unable to get people to come to the forum to be told that they need to think of consequences of actions (or lack thereof) BEFORE they act...Which is exactly why I extoll the fact that any man who finds himself in such a situation needs to go get in his father's face, his coach's face, his teacher's faces, his friend's faces, or the face of any other man in a position within his life to have cared enough about him to have imparted this VITAL and LIFE CHANGING information - to grab them and shake them and demand to know: "why didn't YOU tell me this"! The very fact that they don't GET this information until AFTER that ink on the birth certificate is closed within a file is 50% of the problem!

    The women who get pregnant first, and then play the game of picking from the best possible daddies when forced to name a father to collect benefits is the other half - and I've got some pretty unkind words for their mothers, older sisters, teachers, coaches, and BFF's too. But the simple fact is that we've come a long way from accepting a woman's word for "who's daddy", and men hold the ultimate trump card in the game via genetic testing, but only to the extent that they are educated by their parents and peers to PLAY that card, and not hold it until after the game is OVER. (We already know that the directive of "don't make babies with someone that you're not committed enough to to marry" obviously doesn't work, so the "don't sign NUTHIN without CHECKIN" mantra comes into play.)

    Ultimately, even if the child has the (supposed/intended) stability of two parents at one level, the child at another level ends up with at least ONE parent with some hefty emotional baggage - because there simply can't be a complete dearth of emotional consequences to a man to first learn that the child he's come to love isn't his own, but then to have the situation of paying support on top of it. If that doesn't shake a man to his very core, I'm not sure what would. But we as a society are doing a piss poor job, especially mano e mano, at education and prevention of the problem, which is an incredibly predictable one, and whose manifestation all too often results not only in dads raising (or hopefully at least supporting) someone else's children with some level of resentment, but in many cases with circumstances like this one, also serves to rob the child and the REAL father (who incidently also apparantly wasn't married to mom either) of the chance to discover each other and forge a relationship from an early age.

    We simply can't save or even help them all...but they can certainly serve as examples to others I guess.
    Very well put....The only part I don't agree with is the 50/50 split. There is a very fine line between doing what right (getting tested and not signing anything verse calling someone and out and out liar and showing signs of not wanting to be a father of a child that maybe yours). This is very hard to explain what a man goes through when told he is going to be a father and there very deep emotional repercussions for all his actions that follow. A woman knows who the father is before birth and if she doesn't she know at least knows the possibilities, but in order for a man to sign a BC, he told he the father 100%. That means he has to do the work to find out if that true. In doing so he in a position to hurt people. It is not an easy choice. And it not something you can start demanding to know during the happiest day of someone life. So put yourself as a man in the hospital full of friends and family (mostly hers people) and not sign that BC.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-08-2011, 07:33 PM
  2. Drug Possession: Joint Found in Car, I Was Not Driving, and Its Not Mine
    By TRTripper in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-21-2010, 09:45 PM
  3. Changing a Child's Name: I Want to Change My Daughter's Last Name to Mine
    By Annette in forum Name Change
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-08-2009, 01:05 PM
  4. Married/divorced recently found out the child is not mine
    By diggingmyselfoutinnj in forum Child Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-19-2006, 02:06 PM
  5. Son is 16 and I found out he is not Biologially mine
    By blkspruce in forum Child Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-10-2005, 05:05 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.




Untitled Document