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  1. #1
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    Default Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    My question involves alienation of affection law for the State of: North Carolina.

    A year and a half ago, my husband was caught having an affair, this took place in Oregon and I know that Oregon doesn't have this law, however, after my husband's mistress beat the crap out of me and wouldn't stop contact, my husband and I decided that we would move to North Carolina for fear that she may hurt me again or worse. As well as feeling it was necessary to leave the state to re-build our relationship. My husband and I have been here a year now, she has contacted our phones several times over the course of these months but she usually called from "blocked numbers" and just a few days ago, she initiated contact and her and my husband sent several text messages back and forth, I am sick to death of these feelings and I cannot express enough how sickening this entire situation has become. I would like to pursue both lawsuits against her for this and make her pay for what she did and continues to do! Can someone please help me out???

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    The person you need to be considering suing is your husband...for divorce.

    Why is he answering her texts? While alienation of affection suits are possible in North Carolina, they tend to be costly and incredibly stressful.

    Is she still in Oregon?

    More to the point - why would she even HAVE your new NC numbers?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    Yes, she is still in Oregon, and we never changed our phone numbers, which is absolutely stupid on my part, but I wanted to trust my husband. I really don't care about the stress of such a lawsuit because the stress is already surmounted to the point that I am just sick to death of this. I am contemplating divorce, I asked him why he answered her texts and in return answered me with ridiculous answers. It's really a nightmare that I keep on re-living by continuing with all of this drama, but I do love him, however it has now become a question of who I love more, him or myself.

    I am just curious as to whether I actually have a case against her? That would make this whole situation easier to deal with knowing that I have recourse and that I actually could sue her and cause some damage to her financially. Make her think twice about ever doing this to another woman. I honestly feel that every state should have this kind of protection against infidelity, it might make people think twice about committing adultery if they could actually be sued for damages.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    April, I really do feel for you. You're betrayed, and hurt, and that's completely understandable.

    The answer to your question is "yes" - in some instances, NC allows a resident to sue an out-of-state resident for AoA. I suggest you speak with a local attorney in NC who can guide you further.

    The state cannot prevent people from being dishonest and committing adultery. It CAN, in some instances, punish the adulterer (some states will consider conduct when deciding alimony - as a punitive measure), and it allows of course divorce.

    On a different note...your husband is equally culpable in this and if your marriage is to stand any chance, he MUST stop ALL contact IMMEDIATELY. No ifs, ands or buts. No excuses.

    Because if he doesn't ...well, that's a fairly clear signal.

    Good luck. I hope you get through this in one piece.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5

    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    Quote Quoting AprilLee
    View Post
    My question involves alienation of affection law for the State of: North Carolina.

    A year and a half ago, my husband was caught having an affair, this took place in Oregon and I know that Oregon doesn't have this law, however, after my husband's mistress beat the crap out of me
    Please tell us that you DID file a police report and cooperate in the bringing of charges against her. Are you suing for medical expenses, or asking for restitution as part of her criminal case?

    and wouldn't stop contact,
    In violation of a no contact order?

    my husband and I decided that we would move to North Carolina for fear that she may hurt me again or worse. As well as feeling it was necessary to leave the state to re-build our relationship. My husband and I have been here a year now, she has contacted our phones several times over the course of these months but she usually called from "blocked numbers"
    Law enforcement can get the info on where those calls came from. Report this activity to your local police. If there's already a standing no contact order, she can be found in violation of that order. If there was not a no contact in place before you got to NC, you're basically out of luck on that approach, because the basis for issuing such orders is usually "fear". Judges don't buy "fear" from someone in OR if you're in NC.


    and just a few days ago, she initiated contact
    Moved, but didn't change the numbers, or moved and DID change the numbers and she found you anyway? (Which as much as you don't want to hear it, implicates your husband.) If you haven't changed your numbers, most carriers will do so for free - some if you just tell them there is a harassment problem, and the others will do so if you provide a case number. So report the harassing communications and change numbers (again).

    and her and my husband sent several text messages back and forth,
    Tell your idiot husband to STOP responding to her in ANY way. When he willingly responds to her "back and forth", he negates claims that the contact is unwanted - that means no prosecutor is going to get in the middle, and your chances of winning a civil suit go down the tubes as well. (And even if you WIN, that means you get the joy of trying to go through the collections process, meaning you have a legal relationship with her, which will give her RIGHTS to contact you).

    I am sick to death of these feelings and I cannot express enough how sickening this entire situation has become. I would like to pursue both lawsuits against her for this and make her pay for what she did and continues to do!
    Law suits or even divorces don't make feelings go away. Therapy or a support group with others in similar situations may be helpful. Expect a reputable therapist to tell you that you can't both seek retribution and move forward with healing your relationship with your husband at the same time. You have a finite amount of emotional and time resources. Figure out which direction you're going to choose and do it. Remember that she is only HALF of "what she did"....your husband is the other half - the husband who apparently STILL doesn't realize that continuing to allow and respond to contact from this woman isn't a good idea.

    On a practical level, beyond medical bills related to her assault on you, what ELSE are you thinking you'll sue for (keeping in mind that lawsuits are all about making people "whole" by compensating them for damages - what other "damages" are there)? On the alienation of affection case, besides the issues of geography (you'd have to go BACK to OR to bring a case), and cost (alienation of affection cases work in cash, not a percentage of the "winnings"), do you realize that bringing such a case means sitting in a room full of strangers (jurors) and potentially getting to hear about when they did it, where they did it, etc.? If you think you're emotionally a wreck now, then back away from this idea, because it's incredibly common for all sorts of sordid details to "slip" in testimony, or to be purposefully worded into testimony to get a good "stab" back. In your quest to rake HER over the coals in retribution, YOU may be the one to suffer knowing details that you won't get out of your head....ever. I could relate some doozies blurted out in AoA and other types of cases that would make you vomit - things that people in such cases never saw coming, so beware what you ask for.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    Just one thing, Catherine - she wouldn't have to go back to OR necessarily. NC allows the plaintiff to file in NC even if the defendant is out-of-state. It's a bit odd, but apparently it's possible. Not entirely sure how that would work...but there we go.

    I'd also like to emphasize that it will ALL become public record. ALL of it.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    She could and would have to argue that the actions of the woman in OR implicates the long arm jurisdiction of the court in NC. That would have to be a legal sales pitch, so to speak, in the court in NC after a civil action is filed. However, if the person doesn't respond, answer and raise that objection properly, then the OP could get a judgment in NC. She'd then have to hire an attorney in OR to file the judgment in the local county where the woman lives and execute it against her assets. If the NC court does not accept long arm jurisdiction then there is nothing she can do in NC, other than file a divorce petition that is.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    The affair was over before she moved to North Carolina. There is no possible way to sue for "alienation of affection" in North Carolina over events that occurred in Oregon when everybody lived in Oregon. The fact that the "other woman" is calling them now doesn't constitute "alienation of affection" because the husband is not interested - his affections aren't being alienated.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    I think the problem is that he's still interested...he's still responding to her.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  10. #10

    Default Re: Regarding Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation

    Which is why your suggestion for divorce is realistically the only truely plausable civil court action here. Criminal charges are also possible, but obviously completely OUT of the hands of the reporting party beyond making the criminal complaint.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

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