No Contact Order for My Daughter

**dsc79supras** · 01-10-2011, 04:35 PM

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Washington State. Can I get a no contact order on my soon to be ex-wife's "friend" that she is currently living with for the past couple of weeks if I believe he poses a sexual threat to my daughter who is currently 3 years old. My ex leaves our daughter alone with him while she leaves the house at times. Please tell me you can......

**Dogmatique** · 01-10-2011, 04:41 PM

Can you elaborate?

Why do you think he's a 'sexual threat' to your daughter?

**aardvarc** · 01-10-2011, 06:03 PM

If you have some articulable reasoning that you can convey to a judge you can certainly attempt to do so. Specific things he has said or done? Or a criminal history that would indicate that the child is at some demonstrable risk of a sexually-based crime (in other words, a criminal history of shoplifting or drug use alone typically won't suffice)?

If you are already planning on filing for divorce, and have some great concern over whom mom may want to leave the child with when not in her own care, then asking for things like residential custody and right-of-first-refusal need to be priorities when you sit down with your attorney.

**dsc79supras** · 01-11-2011, 09:36 AM

Well, she said that he kisses her. Granted she's only 3 and I'm not certain what she means by that. But just to play it safe and protect a defenseless 3 yr old little girl, I don't feel comfortable with her being alone with this guy. And not to mention she has moved 4 hours away out of state to live with him prior to a request from the courts and our divorce being final. I disagree to the move because I have midweek visitation and every other weekend from Thursday night to Sunday night. I'm in a battle for relocation and she now wants sole custody so she can move.

**lilbethm** · 01-11-2011, 09:58 AM

If she is saying it like she doesnt like it you have a reason to worry. Call your local DYFS they will at least see if the guy has priors and talk to your daughter and see what they think. You cannot be to safe with your children

**aardvarc** · 01-11-2011, 10:34 AM

Quoting dsc79supras

Well, she said that he kisses her. Granted she's only 3 and I'm not certain what she means by that.

That in itself won't be anywhere near grounds for a restraining order. I kiss my cat, my grandmother, and my lucky poker chip when I've got a good hand...none of which a court would consider deviant. If you think there's something MORE going on, especially with an impressionable 3 year old, then follow lilbeth's advice and get a report in to CPS. It's vital that you DON'T question or grill the child about it, as doing so can condition the child and can severaly taint the legitimacy of any investigation. Be aware too that the number one issue that comes up in custody battles where there's a new man in the picture is allegations of inappropriateness - but unless there's SOMETHING other than a 3 year old saying she got kissed (ie an experienced child investigator, working with an un-coached child, who is willing to professionally relay to the court that something is amiss and the kiss was something OTHER than a good night kiss, a kiss in the forehead/cheek, etc), an unsubstantiated accusation tends to leave an impression on the court that dirty pool may be afoot. in other words, it's going to take MORE than your discomfort - maybe not MUCH more, but there's got to be SOMETHING for the court to work with.

**Dogmatique** · 01-11-2011, 02:05 PM

Quoting dsc79supras

Well, she said that he kisses her. Granted she's only 3 and I'm not certain what she means by that. But just to play it safe and protect a defenseless 3 yr old little girl, I don't feel comfortable with her being alone with this guy. And not to mention she has moved 4 hours away out of state to live with him prior to a request from the courts and our divorce being final. I disagree to the move because I have midweek visitation and every other weekend from Thursday night to Sunday night. I'm in a battle for relocation and she now wants sole custody so she can move.

This struck me.

I completely understand that you're wanting to fight the relocation (I would fight it too!), but if you're thinking about trying to use the boyfriend as a reason, I would think twice about it. Looking for dirt on him in order to prevent the relocation isn't really the best move.

I heartily second Aardvaarc's post though