Assault with Injury

[Principal]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Utah

So my ex was into spanking, and i used to do it for her. I was sort of into it, but i liked kissing and cuddling more to be completely honest. I have emails she sent me admitting that spanking is 'the biggest turn-on' she has, as well as an email she sent me about an e-book over how to effectively spank. I was never the instigator in any of this and did it to make her happy and mostly liked it because it turned her on. We agreed on a safe word, but i felt it was unnecessary because i would of stopped if she said no or stop.

Anyway we break up, but the next day she send me a text (which i still have) saying how she feels she owes it to me to take some of the feelings i have out on her. I told her i wasn't blaming anyone for the break up except maybe her medical issues and i wasn't too interested. She wrote back that she was offering one last chance to vent my frustrations on her and it was my last chance to hold her accountable for her part in the failure 'even if that means the belt'. I agreed and she told me to make some excuse to leave to my room mates, not saying her name, and to come up there. While getting ready to go up there, she also sends me a text to hurry up, she told her room mates she needed the apartment to herself for an hour and that was ten minutes ago. Again i have all of these texts.

We had an on-off history and i was thinking that maybe she was trying to repair things. When i showed up, the chair was already in her room so i sat down, put her over my knee, pulled down her pants and started to spank her. (I never pulled down her pants before, but she playfully showed me bruises i gave her in previous times we did this. In a text i no longer have, she joked that i don't have the guts to pull them down, and hinted thats what she wanted. Also, i kept her underwear on.) I asked her how she felt, sort of to gauge how she felt about her pants down and the spanking and said said that she felt like she deserved more.

Since she hinted at the belt on the text, i assumed thats what she was getting at and began to use the belt on her (we never used the belt before). She said after a while that she 'hated the belt' so i had her count down from five (she liked it when i had her count) then went back to my hand. After a little longer, I had her count down again with the hand, and then we were done. When we were done, i noticed her bum was shaking, so i mentioned that she was shaking. She said 'thats because it f#%king hurts'. Thats when i felt i went too far, and pulled her pants up. She told me to get my last slaps in, but i told her we were done, so she promptly got up and told me to leave. She never told me 'no', 'stop', or use the safe word.

Then a few days later the cops show up and charge me with assault. Im not entirely sure this is what she told the police, but the story a friend heard from my room mate who took her to give a statement said i went up to her place uninvited, got into her apartment, dragged her into her room and began to spank her. The cops felt like they weren't getting a straight story from either of us, so they charged me with assault and let me out on bail. The police paperwork says assault, while the bail paperwork says assault with injury.

The cops told me the bruising was severe, and i feel horrible about it, but she wasn't communicating with me over her threshold and limits with the belt. She never told me to stop, said 'no', or use the safe word. She has a history of mental issues, rape, and is seeing a therapist. Shes also on painkillers. I feel like shes using me as a way to vent the past boyfriends affronts to her. She also got me evicted from my apartment, but with what shes saying to people, and how my room mate never confronted or asked for my side of the story, i don't mind that. I just want to move on.

I do not have history of any crimes, (but the cops thought it was interesting i train in MMA, although i never had a fight. I only do it for the work outs.) and only had one speeding ticket ever-80 on the freeway, which was well over two years ago. Im also a full-time student.

I feel seduced and entrapped. I should of known better, and i will never do it again. My friend said i should ask for a public defender and get a plea in abeyance to get a lower misdemeanor and just do the probation. Is that the best thing to do?

[jk]

if you can't afford an attorney, ask for a PD. If you qualify, you will be appointed one.

Save the e-mails.

What I think is this was a setup. Her intent was to have you injure her and she intended on telling the police it wasn't consensual.

If it was me, I wouldn't plead to anything but talk with a lawyer and see if the emails will be enough to get you off. The emails and the history of S&M may be enough to exonerate you.

Do others know about her fetish? It would help if others are aware she is into S&M.

[Principal]

Unfortunately, no one knows about her fetish first-hand. She told me to keep it a secret, but I still told my best friend about all the times I did it. That same best friend has known me for nine years and will be a character witness about how I never punched a wall or anything when I got i got upset, because the police had the thought that I lost my temper while doing this to her. I'm a gentle giant, and never intended to harm anyone. The cops said nothing justified the bruises and I agree, but I didn't know what I was doing hurt her so much.

The cops also said she didn't say anything, like to stop or the safe word because she claimed she was too scared. I really cared for this girl and never wanted this to happen.

How do I qualify for a PD?

[jk]

The cops said nothing justified the bruises and I agree, but I didn't know what I was doing hurt her so much.

that is simply not true. There are many people into severe S&M and sustain serious injuries. There is nothing illegal about it as long as it is consensual. If you were "playing" as you normally would with the safeguards you typically had in place and she did not call "uncle", then the injuries were not the result of an illegal act.

The cops also said she didn't say anything, like to stop or the safe word because she claimed she was too scared.

Given the fact she willingly subjected herself to this type of treatment regularly in the past, that doesn't make a lot of sense, unless she can convince the courts it was not consensual. That is where your emails come into play.

[aardvarc]

You might also point your attorney to an old, but relevent, article on BDSM from a practicing criminal defense attorney:

http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/rumpoule.htm

[tc498]

What did you say to the police? It's best to say nothing and ask for a lawyer,plead not guitly and ask for a pd if you can't afford a lawyer. If you meant no ill will and see encouraged that behaviour tells this to the lawyer and explain her history. Imo I would stress that I felt that nothing was done wrong and push for a dismal. Only a lawyer can tell how likely that chances of that are,weight out all outcomes. It can be foolish to take the 1st plea if you truly are innonect. A lawyer can tell what the chances are of beating the cases and then take it from there when considering a plea.

[Principal]

I told the police what was posted here. May not of been as detailed because I was just shocked that the police were actually questioning and arresting me. They took note of the texts, but honestly all I think that they saw was what they wanted to see: a cagefighter who beats on women.

My court day is Jan fourth and I'll be asking for a PD for sure. What I did was stupid, but I don't believe it was illegal. I would of been fine in that relationship without the spanking, she's the one who suggested in an emIl I have that it would keep the excitement level up.

[Principal]

Quick question: My court date is on Tuesday. What are the chances of her being there?

[Mr. Knowitall]

What type of court hearing is it?

[free9man]

Quick question: My court date is on Tuesday. What are the chances of her being there?

If it is a trial...she will most likely be there as a witness against you.

Any other kind of court appearance, hard to say.

Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, attempt to speak to her if she is there.