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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    7

    Default Visitation at Child's Discretion

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York
    My 16 year old, which I have full/sole custody of, has visitation at her discretion with her stepfather. This is what it states in the petition. Can I still tell her "no" to going over there since I have sole custody of her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    25,258

    Default Re: Visitation

    I just revisited your other thread.

    You actually have a court order giving your ex - a legal stranger - visitation with your daughter?

    When was this order made? What is the EXACT wording (minus names)?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Visitation

    We had joint custody of her. I recently went back to court in July to have that changed at which time the judge stated he has no standing over her. I have yet to receive a signed order from the judge from July. My lawyer has not submitted it to the court yet (he has been notified by family court to do so ASAP). In the petition that I filed it states that the order should be modified as follows: Full custody and visitation at her discretion.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    25,258

    Default Re: Visitation

    Please clarify - you submitted a petition to modify but this has NOT been actually entered yet?

    If that's the case, the previous order still stands (which gives stepdad joint custody).
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Visitation

    Petition was submitted and I went to court the end of July. At that time the judge ruled that he has no standing over her because he is her stepfather. No, I have not received the order signed by the judge but have been reassured by the courts that as of the date that the judge ruled, I have full custody of her. I guess the best thing for me to do is wait for the signed order from the judge. But if, in the order, it does state that she has visitation at her discretion, can I tell her "no"?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    25,258

    Default Re: Visitation

    I apologize for the next batch of questions but yours is a very odd situation and if you wouldn't mind clarifying or explaining you might be able to help others in the future.

    So...

    How long were you married?

    How did he end up with joint custody at all?

    Where is the actual father?

    Any idea why the judge would put in a court order that your daughter could decide to visit a legal stranger against your wishes?

    (That's bordering on being unconstitutional if not blatantly so).
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Visitation

    I appreciate your help......
    we were married for 15 years. It was ordered 5 years ago that we have joint custody of all three kids (16 year old is not biologically his, the other two are ) when we seperated the first time. We reconciled within a year. We just seperated again 8/09. The actual father is MIA and has been for almost 10 years. I'm not sure why or even if the judge is going to order that she can have visitation at her discretion due to the fact that I still haven't received the signed order from the judge. I hope he doesn't. I guess that all depends on how my attorney words the order?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    25,258

    Default Re: Visitation

    You really need to consult with your attorney.

    Your ex may be able to successfully argue that he has been joint custodial "parent" for five years and hence has standing to retain his position.

    Legalities aside, there's a question you might want to seriously consider.

    Does your daughter want to see her stepfather?

    If she does - and he has been the father-figure for 99.9% of her life - is it in her best interest to deny her that?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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