Absent Biological Father, Stepfather Wants to Adopt

[Dogmatique]

No, that's not correct.

Aardvarc was simply pointing out the fact that he hasn't been established as father. In your State, this must happen before his rights - which haven't been established yet - can be terminated.

Also, he has had contact. Either way, you cannot claim abandonment.

With regards to the drug use, you might find yourself in a pickle. If you have photographic evidence that you haven't submitted to the authorities - why haven't you done so? You've also allowed him to have contact even though you know that he does drugs. The court might wonder why you were "ok" with it up until now.

Honestly - in your situation you can't afford to do this without an attorney. I can absolutely see Dad fighting this.

[BLOHR]

The last time he saw her was 10/31, when I picked her up he wasn't there she was with his girlfriends sister doing art. They haven't seen each other since and if I have anything to say about they never will again. The pictures surfaced just recently on Facebook my new roommate is his friend and showed them to me. I had thoughts but could never prove it, and he acted normal, like a dick, but normal, whenever I would drop her off.

So we have to make him father just to turn around and undo it????

Why would he want to fight it? If he fights he has to pay, if he goes away his in the clear. This is what I go back and forth with every day and have my hands tied behind my back, I shouldn't take the chance without a lawyer but I need one that I can't afford!!! In all honesty let me ask you this, what if we just left it as it is, he doesn't pay, he doesn't see her, we have no contact with him, almost like running away from him, unless of course a court order came through thats different, what could happen in the future?

[Dogmatique]

It it were me...

I'd establish paternity and get child support ordered. He can be served at his last known address. I have no idea why they're telling you that he must either collect "papers" or what have you. That would also start the "abandonment clock" ticking, so to speak.

Why would Dad fight?

Because apparently he DOES want to be Dad - even a crappy, part-time, "whenever I feel like it" Dad. And he's allowed to do that. Of course, as has been pointed out if he's NOT legally established yet then you have no obligation to allow any contact whatsoever. But since he IS involved to some degree, it's hard to justify pushing him out completely if that's not what HE wants.

Read this

This is why you need an attorney - his consent may not be required, but he can still cause an awful lot of a fuss for you.