My question involves restraining orders in the State of: NJ
Sorry for the long story but I think it all needs to be said in order to answer my legal questions.
Me 41 yo her 35 yo We live an hour and a half from each other, no children.
My ex girlfriend and I have been talking about getting back together since February 2010, we broke up in January 2010. I felt like she was stringing me along so July 25 I told her either take me or leave me, so she left. My mindset was "Well that's over time to move on" and as painful as these things are, I had to and DID.
We had no communication for four weeks. Out of the blue she sent me a text, we talked, she said "I think I made a mistake " blah blah blah and before you knew it we were trying to work things out. She kept canceling plans to do things with other guys. Stringing me along again. Two weeks ago I sent her an email stating I was tired of it all and if she had anything good to say, say it now because after that weekend she would be out of my life.
I was in the process of deleting all her emails to and from me, text messages, contact information, even her address from my GPS. I found a bookmark she left on my browser and before I clicked on it I opened in and read some things she wrote about some guy she was seeing in July. I also seen some provocative pictures she had posted on that site. This really struck a nerve in me, trying to get back together with me but she's actually trying to seriously date someone else, I popped.....
I sent her an email saying this, that and the other thing. I also included in my haste "I hope you get AIDS and die a slow miserable death." I'm sure we sent some text message back and fourth but I really don't know what they said because I deleted everything soon after. She pushed my button so hard I called her a few times asking her to have the big fight to end all fights and get it over with cause I was DONE. One message I left, I must have called her a "tramp and a wh*re."
I never threatened her, PERIOD, in the past or in this last dueling.
Sunday Nov 7th 11:45 PM I was served by my local police a temporary restraining order (TRO) she got on me. I read online that TRO's are almost always granted and pretty easily, so I understand this.
Court date is set for Monday Nov 8th 8:30 am "For real?" So I had to call the court in the am to have that rescheduled, new date was set to Monday Nov 15th.
On of the court workers called me the next day and told me the date was rescheduled for January 10th 2011 "FOR REAL? JANUARY? OMG"
So I am now in the process of talking to everyone I can get on the phone that I am refereed to at this court place about the length of this postponement. Why? Because I want this over. If I'm such a threat why has this be postponed for two months.
I even took the time to ask their mediator if I can have this case mediated so it does not even have to go to court. I'm sure a judge would not award her a Permanent Retraining Order. Name calling in an email? "For Real?"
I spoke to someone at North East New Jersey Legal Services about this and she advised me that this can be a serious issue and I should seek legal advise and wanted to sell me a list of lawyers for $25.00 because NENJLS does not handle cases like this.
So on to my questions.
#1 Am I wasting my time and effort here? Should I be taking this seriously?
Just wait until January and see if she drops it, or the judge denies it?
#2 Should I file some kind of motion against her?
I think she is harassing me by filing for the TRO and dragging it out to January.
I think she is defaming my character by stating publicly that I am a harassing
person, a potential criminal etc.
#3 Should I file for a TRO against her? I mean after all if she is crazy enough to file
one for me calling her names, who know what else she might do given the below
She told me she was in rehab for drug addiction in the past. She told me she was institutionalized twice, but she never told me the reasons. She told me she indeed killed herself in the past, she was DOA at the hospital but they revived her. She told me she has a gun in her bedroom closet, her father is also into guns but lives out of state. She has samurai swords hanging up in her bedroom. She keeps two folding knife under her pillow.
Should I file for a TRO against her? I mean after all if she is crazy enough to file one for me calling her names, who know what else she might do given the above information.