What Should I Do to Get Contact with My Daughter

[afguy27]

My wife and I seperated in December 2009. My wife moved out of our house in North Carolina to her mothers in New Mexico with my 5 year old daughter. We both agreed on everything and she even sent me papers to sign for everything to be done and over with but once I signed and sent back she never filed. This happened sometime in late April 2010. I have been sending on my own accord $550 a month for child support. I picked up my daughter for summer visit on June 4th and had her until her mom picked her up on August 3rd. Since this time my wife has changed her mind and wants to take everything to court, and I am fine with this however, she has started to demand more money from me, holding my daughter essentially as a hostage. There is nothing stating that I have any specific amount to pay her other than I am in the military and I'm required to pay her $192 a month, the difference between dependent and single rate pay. She has sent me an email saying that I am not allowed to talk to HER daughter until I pay her more money. I am currently deployed and the situation is getting out of control. What rights do I have to contact my daughter? Also she has moved another couple and their child into her 2 bedroom house. This has resulted in the adults getting a room and the 2 kids sleeping on a pallet on the floor. I feel as though my daughter has been kidnapped and being held for ransom and it is killing me. I want to do what is right for Baylee, my daughter, but dont want continue to give her more and more. I have always been there to give her extra when she was in a crunch, even co-signed for her a new truck back in February when her old one broke down. But enough is enough and I need to know what legal actions I can take from my deployed location. My daughter is my world and she really needs an advocate, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You

[Dogmatique]

What do you want to happen?

Being deployed, you obviously can't be the custodial parent. You can file for divorce yourself, and set up child support and long-distance visitation yourself.

Did your wife and child move to NM in 2009? Or April 2010? It may make a difference as to where you need to file.

[afguy27]

I want to be able to talk to my child first. I would really like to try and get divorced as well, the child custody details can be worked out when I return saying that I at least get to talk to her while deployed

I have contacted an attorney but they say it really isnt feasable to pursue with me being away.

They left for New Mexico in December 2009.

[CourtClerk]

And I agree with the attorney. Until you get back and get stationary, there's really nothing you can do, nor is there anything you can do to make her let you speak to your daughter.

[sublime4mylife]

if you are in the military, there is a certain amount that you have to pay your wife if you are filing for divorce and it's a whole lot more that 190 dollars, talk with your admin department, because i had multiple friends in the military that the commanding officer ordered them to pay a certain amount to their ex. I think that the amount that you are giving her is sufficient, but I would just check with the military and make sure, talk to a legal officer.