If I Can't Make the Pickup Time Do I Forfeit Visitation

**camper** · 10-21-2010, 01:46 PM

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

Do I forfeit visitation if the orders say I have possession of the kids after school which ends at 3:10 and I cannot pick them up until 4:30 because I cannot get off work without jeopardizing my job?

I notified my ex 48 hours in advance that I cannot pick up the kids until then but she is ignoring the email to change the time. I priced after school care and do not have an extra $600 a month in addition to the 25% pretax child support I pay to put two kids into daycare? My ex could rearrange daycare at no additional cost to her but she chooses not to.

Thanks

**cyjeff** · 10-21-2010, 02:02 PM

The after school program at my daughter's school costs about $2 a day. I would look into that.

**camper** · 10-21-2010, 09:34 PM

If I could pay $26 a month I wouldn't be posting on here. I would just pay. That option is not available where my kids go to school. I've called the schools and each provider they do not offer anything at that price and do not offer daily rates so I have to purchase the whole month.

**Dogmatique** · 10-21-2010, 09:50 PM

If your court order specifies that you forfeit your entire visitation if you don't turn up by X hour.....then yes, you'll forfeit.

But otherwise, your ex needs to make the kids available the entire duration of your parenting time.

(assuming you're not going to turn up at 2 am)

**camper** · 10-22-2010, 01:53 PM

Thank you. That answer makes sense. My orders don't specify what happens when someone is late. It only says to give 48 hours notice if plans change.

Lately my ex takes off at 2:45, picks up the kids from school, returns to work at 4:30, calls me saying the kids are available at work (which takes me an hour to get there during rush hour), then works till 6:00 to make up lost time at work, takes the kids out to dinner, supposedly runs errands so she can say it is not possible to drop off the kids on her way home even though I am on the way home, and then has the kids call at 8:30 at night saying they are ready to be picked up.

If I leave at 8:30, it will take 30 minutes to pick them up with no traffic and the kids will have to go to bed as soon as they get home so I don't bother getting them. Should I pick them up anyways?

Is this considered denying me visitation? My ex will not give me her cell phone number so coordination is difficult. And she has refuses to do simple things like dropping off the kids on her way to work even though my house is only 2 miles out of her way and someone is home at my house at that time.

**Dogmatique** · 10-22-2010, 02:11 PM

Visitation, once court-ordered, is a right. You have the right to go and get your kids per your court order.

It is not considered denying or withholding visitation unless you actually turn up and she refuses to let them go with you.

Is there a reason you couldn't leave earlier and pick the kids up from her work? Or meet them for dinner?

**camper** · 10-26-2010, 10:22 AM

I consider it denying because she is moving the kids around so much and in an unpredictable way that I can't coordinate with my ex to pick them up until she gets home at 8:30pm.

I can't meet them for dinner because my ex will not give me her cell phone number and doesn't have a set time she leaves work. She also says I can either pick them up either from work or when she gets home at 8:30pm so she is not offering anything in between. She also refuses to drop them off on her way home even though my house is on the way home for her.

Picking them up from work is risky because my ex is not consistent with picking them up from school. She says she will pick them up from school but then she doesn't. Because I can't rely on her, I go to the two schools first, then I'm so far out of town, it would take an hour to drive to her work during rush hour to pick up the kids. By the time I could get to her work, she could leave and say I missed her. Since I don't have her cell phone number I can't coordinate changes or call her to ask if she has the kids.

I gave my 12 y/o a cell phone last week so I can find out where they are and my ex took away the battery because my 12 y/o talks to me too much. I've had three 10 minute calls over the past week and that is too much.

My ex also told the judge under oath during our trial that she couldn't give her cell number because she didn't have one...

Thanks.

**sillystring** · 10-27-2010, 08:52 AM

Do you not have anyone that could pick up the kids afterschool? A family member or perhaps the person that you said is at your home when you are at work?

$600/month is pretty expensive for aftercare. Have you looked into hiring a local teenager or nanny to pick up the kids and watch them until 4:30 each day? (Or really less than that, since you said you have somebody at your home - could they watch the kids until you got there?).