Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3

    Talking Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Cailfornia.

    Father and mother are out of wedlock, currently going to court over their 9 year old daughter.
    Mother has full custody and father has visitation every other week.
    father is on time for child support however was not able to make payments for a year due to fathers unemployment (2years ago). Mother is currently seeking full custody with supervised visitations, and seeking for father to pay all attorney fees.
    Mother filed restraining order so exchanges are made by fathers relatives.
    during exchages, child is eager to go with father however up to recent events mother claims that child is now in fear of father and mother refuses to make exchages. She does not have any contact with father due to restraining order however relatives who are present during exchages witness daughter is being coached, and now child makes false claims of father.
    Court has ordered Mother and father to go through mediation, Mother declined (reason:fear) . and now court has issued order for child to attend counseling with both parents on serperate sessions.
    Mothers actions seem inspired by bitterness as every accusation she makes is to make father appear bad in court. (father is not being represented)
    Mother failed to make exchage on the weekend pertaining to father (this is the second time) and father filed event with police.
    claims are that child did not want to go with father...

    so to sum up my question: what can father do in the event that mother misses exchange date? and how should father represent himself when all false accusations keep coming up regarding his care for child? in this particular incident child seems more fearful of mother since she will refuse to speak of her "other life" with mother? can Father do something about an investigation since he feels child is being neglected and coached?? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    25,183

    Default Re: Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    1. Dad can file contempt..provided he actually turned up and was refused visitation.
    2. What exactly is Mom saying? Why is she requesting supervised visitation?
    3. Dad really doesn't have the right to grill the child about what happens when the child is with mom.
    4. Neglected how?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3

    Default Re: Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    [QUOTE=adiroxstr;465071]


    Mother is currently seeking full custody with supervised visitations, and seeking for father to pay all attorney fees.
    Requests for changes in custody are considered by the court when some event that impacts the CHILD has occurred. What is mom claiming has CHANGED since the original order was issued that would warrant full custody going to her? What specific thing(s) is dad accused of as reason for supervision to now be supervised?


    Mother filed restraining order so exchanges are made by fathers relatives.
    Anyone, even a perfect stranger, can FILE a restraining order. We need to know on what grounds the court GRANTED that order. What did mom tell the court that dad did that made her afraid for herself and/or the child? Courts don't just hand them out because someone asks for one. We need to know the REASON.

    during exchages, child is eager to go with father however up to recent events mother claims that child is now in fear of father and mother refuses to make exchages.
    Let's say the shoe was on the opposite foot. If mom came here and said "hey, I think dad is dangerous to my kid now, what do I do?" - the answer would be: "go back to court and ask for full custody and supervised visitation". That appears to be what mom is doing. If mom were to ask us "if I'm afraid for the child's safety, can I withhold visitation until the court hears the matter"? We would answer: "court orders are orders, not suggestions, and violating them can have serious consequences - so if you're willing to risk and court's anger in order to do what you feel you need to do to protect your child, you do so at your own risk". How will the court view mom's refusal to obey the order for visitation? The court won't be happy, but MAY entertain hearing mom's reasons (for example, the court isn't going to admonish mom for not letting the child go if, for example, dad has made threats of suicide). The best dad can do is get to court, tell the judge that mom isn't following the orders as given, and let the judge go from there.

    daughter is being coached, and now child makes false claims of father.
    Then dad needs to bring these witnesses to court with him.

    Court has ordered Mother and father to go through mediation, Mother declined (reason:fear) . and now court has issued order for child to attend counseling with both parents on serperate sessions.
    Reasonable.

    Mothers actions seem inspired by bitterness as every accusation she makes is to make father appear bad in court.
    Ex's are typically bitter. That's the nature of the beast. She can accuse anything, what the court cares about is what can be PROVEN.

    (father is not being represented)
    Then there's a good chance that dad is going to get the short end of the stick. Family court, especially when there are issues like restraining orders, requests for supervised visitation, and such, really should be addressed by someone with not only a lot of practice at such cases, but also by someone who knows the proclivities and tendencies of the particular judges. Dad doing this without an attorney is like fighting a lion with a toothpick. If mom has already been able to convince the court to issue a restraining order, it's likely to only get worse for dad until he gets some ammo and experienced defense on his side.

    Mother failed to make exchage on the weekend pertaining to father (this is the second time) and father filed event with police.
    Again, as noted above, mom risks angering the court over not obeying the order. But without knowing the circumstances of WHY and what justification mom may give the court, and whether or not the court will find her actions reasonable or unacceptable, we can't possibly predict what the court will do, if anything, about it.

    claims are that child did not want to go with father...
    That works in dad's favor. The court doesn't care that the child doesn't want to go. Judges love to explain to parents who withhold visitation because "the child doesn't want to go" by putting the parent in the slammer for a day to think it over and realize that children don't want to go to bed, go to school, or eat their veggies either, but it's the parent's responsibility to MAKE them - especially when there's a court's ORDER to do so. Mom, NOT the child is supposed to be in charge and run the show, including presenting the child for visitation as ordered.

    so to sum up my question: what can father do in the event that mother misses exchange date?
    Since it's already happened twice, it's time for dad to notify the court that mom is in contempt. If mom already has a case open to modify custody, dad doesn't need to open another, he can present his complaint at the same time.

    and how should father represent himself when all false accusations keep coming up regarding his care for child? in this particular incident child seems more fearful of mother since she will refuse to speak of her "other life" with mother? can Father do something about an investigation since he feels child is being neglected and coached?? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...
    Dad needs experienced representation who can adequately have the child assessed and who knows how to present the results of any assessment to the court. Unless dad is both an experienced attorney AND a clinical child psychologist, he's not being realistic if the thinks the court is going to allow him to argue these points to any applicable degree.

    See the prior comment regarding the toothpick vs. the lion.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    [QUOTE=aardvarc;465080]
    Quote Quoting adiroxstr
    View Post




    Requests for changes in custody are considered by the court when some event that impacts the CHILD has occurred. What is mom claiming has CHANGED since the original order was issued that would warrant full custody going to her? What specific thing(s) is dad accused of as reason for supervision to now be supervised?

    *Mother has been fighting for full custody since separation. She wants supervised visitation with a person she hires (father would have to pay) because of several incidents she claims:
    (1) incident where child was playing with puppy (in fathers home)Puppy accidently scratched her (very minor injury, PUPPY has shots! hydrogen peroxide and bandaid, shild was back to running around with puppy in no time!) . Mother dramatized the event by taking child to hospital after fathers visitation. Mother then proceeded to contact animal services to have puppy removed from home, implying that "dog" involved in incident was a doberman, when in fact it was a miniature schnauzer.

    (2) she brings up in court that father is "mean" to child because he forces chlid to eat. (as a witness he is firm with child and instills that she eat breakfast lunch and dinner, often times child throws tantrums wanting Mcdonalds and such instead of the prepared home cooked meals, which probably explains why child would say he is mean...)

    (3)the most ridiculous claim is that mother says father forces child to shower with him! which is a completely false accusation! Father makes child shower, ALONE! he instills good hygiene!


    (5) the most recent event: mother says child claims that father slammed her grandmother up against the door!?!? (which is the reason now why mother missed exchange this last time)

    - these claims are completely false and untrue, it seems as if the mother and attorney keep throwing these types of claims to see what will stick??? this seems to be a very complicated "case" there is allot of "he said she said" going on. and Judge seems to notice it, and has already advised mothers attorney to stay focused on the real matter at hand.




    Anyone, even a perfect stranger, can FILE a restraining order. We need to know on what grounds the court GRANTED that order. What did mom tell the court that dad did that made her afraid for herself and/or the child? Courts don't just hand them out because someone asks for one. We need to know the REASON.

    *reason for restraining order is Domestic violence- couple was arguing and father tried exiting room, opened the door and slammed it and mother tried to stop the door to follow him but her finger was caught. She then proceeded in calling the cops, had father arrested for domestic violence and issued restraining order.

    Let's say the shoe was on the opposite foot. If mom came here and said "hey, I think dad is dangerous to my kid now, what do I do?" - the answer would be: "go back to court and ask for full custody and supervised visitation". That appears to be what mom is doing. If mom were to ask us "if I'm afraid for the child's safety, can I withhold visitation until the court hears the matter"? We would answer: "court orders are orders, not suggestions, and violating them can have serious consequences - so if you're willing to risk and court's anger in order to do what you feel you need to do to protect your child, you do so at your own risk". How will the court view mom's refusal to obey the order for visitation? The court won't be happy, but MAY entertain hearing mom's reasons (for example, the court isn't going to admonish mom for not letting the child go if, for example, dad has made threats of suicide). The best dad can do is get to court, tell the judge that mom isn't following the orders as given, and let the judge go from there.



    Then dad needs to bring these witnesses to court with him.



    Reasonable.



    Ex's are typically bitter. That's the nature of the beast. She can accuse anything, what the court cares about is what can be PROVEN.

    *this explains why the judge keeps disregarding these claims of the mother and attorney- thank you


    Then there's a good chance that dad is going to get the short end of the stick. Family court, especially when there are issues like restraining orders, requests for supervised visitation, and such, really should be addressed by someone with not only a lot of practice at such cases, but also by someone who knows the proclivities and tendencies of the particular judges. Dad doing this without an attorney is like fighting a lion with a toothpick. If mom has already been able to convince the court to issue a restraining order, it's likely to only get worse for dad until he gets some ammo and experienced defense on his side.



    Again, as noted above, mom risks angering the court over not obeying the order. But without knowing the circumstances of WHY and what justification mom may give the court, and whether or not the court will find her actions reasonable or unacceptable, we can't possibly predict what the court will do, if anything, about it.



    That works in dad's favor. The court doesn't care that the child doesn't want to go. Judges love to explain to parents who withhold visitation because "the child doesn't want to go" by putting the parent in the slammer for a day to think it over and realize that children don't want to go to bed, go to school, or eat their veggies either, but it's the parent's responsibility to MAKE them - especially when there's a court's ORDER to do so. Mom, NOT the child is supposed to be in charge and run the show, including presenting the child for visitation as ordered.



    Since it's already happened twice, it's time for dad to notify the court that mom is in contempt. If mom already has a case open to modify custody, dad doesn't need to open another, he can present his complaint at the same time.



    Dad needs experienced representation who can adequately have the child assessed and who knows how to present the results of any assessment to the court. Unless dad is both an experienced attorney AND a clinical child psychologist, he's not being realistic if the thinks the court is going to allow him to argue these points to any applicable degree.

    See the prior comment regarding the toothpick vs. the lion.

    *thank you very much for your valuable advice and info!

    last question:
    does father need a calendar from court specifying the days he get his daughter in order for him to get a report from police when mother fails to appear at the exchanges? Officers have claimed that they would not be able to process report because they needed a schedule made out by the court that listed days father was to have with child?? I have never heard of this "rule" before??

    Once again, Thank you very much =)

  5. #5

    Default Re: Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    does father need a calendar from court specifying the days he get his daughter in order for him to get a report from police when mother fails to appear at the exchanges? Officers have claimed that they would not be able to process report because they needed a schedule made out by the court that listed days father was to have with child?? I have never heard of this "rule" before??
    It's not so much a "rule" as it is police having much better things to do than get involved in civil custody matters. They have CRIMINAL matters to attend to - which is why police tell people involved in custody matters to take it to civil court. Once a court issues an ORDER, then deputy sheriffs, who are the "muscle" of the court, have something they can enforce. They're only going to "hands on" enforce those things that are explicitly black and white - anything else is going to be referred back to the court for the judge to determine what should be done. It's not their job to interpret what the court means, so unless things are very explicit, they're not going to take action. If the order says "dad gets reasonable visitation", that leaves "reasonable" open to interpretation. They're not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole. If the order says "mom is required to present the child to dad for visitation at 6pm on Friday night", and mom and the child aren't home, or mom refuses to comply, THEN they've got something concrete to at least document (which still doesn't guarantee they'll FORCE the exchange, but if law enforcement got involved in the majority of custody issues, they'd end up doing NOTHING else). Bottom line is that generally speaking, law enforcement DOESN'T get involved - they tell the parent who is being wronged by the other parent who isn't following the court's order to document that failure, and bring it to the judge. Realistically, law enforcement as we know it simply can't function in the morass that society has created with the custody issues that have become more common than grains of sand.
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

    Fave Big Bang Theory site: Sheldon Cooper Fans

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Mother Violating Court Order and Filing False Accusations, What Should Father Do

    well noted. Thank you for your advice =)

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Enforcing Custody Orders: Wife's Boyfriend is Mentally Unstable, Violating a Court Order
    By dead_onion in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-17-2011, 04:17 AM
  2. Violating an Order of Protection and Court
    By momof20708 in forum Restraining Orders
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09-24-2008, 01:23 PM
  3. Libel: Suing For Libel If Accusations In Court Documents Are Proved False
    By helplessfriend in forum Defamation, Slander And Libel
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-24-2008, 09:54 AM
  4. Obstruction of Justice: Filing A False Police Report To Get A Restraining Order
    By CHasingEntropy in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-02-2008, 09:05 PM
  5. Mother Violates Court Order of Visitation To Father
    By pansy in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-15-2007, 01:34 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.




Untitled Document