Sibling and Grandparents Rights After a Dealth

**mimichrissie** · 10-07-2010, 03:33 AM

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

My deceased son was the custodial father of two boys, 14 and 9. They have different mothers. The mother of the 14 year old has signed custody to us. The mother of the 9 year old allowed us to have him every other weekend and whenever she needed a sitter. I made the mistake of trying to talk to her. The 9 year old begs me to ask his mom if he can stay at my house more, he missed the 14 year old, the 14 year old wants to see him more. Now we don't see him at all, and she has accused the 14 year old of twisting his arm. The 9 year olds behavior has changed. He has gotten extremly clingy (wants to be held, or have an arm around him all the time) when he is with us. He as developed a health issue I think is stress related and has not been taken to a physician. He has told his mother he thinks he is dying because he is depressed. When I asked if he was going to counseling, the first reaction was to scream at me and tell me not to tell her how to raise her child, then i was told no, he is only "sad".
UI have a previous GAL report detailing her history not only with my son, but a previous ex-husband regarding false accusations, manipulativeness, borderline physical and emotional abuse. She has an explosive temper. The 9 year old doesn't want to do anything to make her mad, and frankly I am a little scared of her. She has a way of manipulating this child, I encourage him to think for himself when he's with us, but I know whe is twisting him away from his brother and us. My attorney is painting a very bleak picture. I have requested a GAL....is their any chance these boys will get to spend more time together? As it is right now they are not only grieving their father but the loss of a brother as well. I am open to any ideas, but I think we need a miracle.

**LawResearcherMissy** · 10-07-2010, 04:15 AM

Have you been pursuing custody, rather than simply visitation? You can read a bit about grandparent visitation in Ohio here.

In order to obtain visitation, you have to prove that it is in the best interests of the child. That is often a difficult task, which is why your attorney is being less than super-encouraging.

**mimichrissie** · 10-07-2010, 04:25 AM

At this point we are not pursuing anything. We are trying to negotiate through our attorney. I'm not sure which way to go if/when it comes to that.

**LawResearcherMissy** · 10-07-2010, 07:32 AM

It would be unwise to pursue custody, as you haven't the necessary grounds to do so. Alleging that Mom is unfit would undoubtedly blow up spectacularly in your face and ensure that you never see the child again.

Your best option would be to seek grandparent visitation, in particular if you can show a longstanding relationship with the child, which termination of would be detrimental to the child. That Mom allowed you every other weekend after the death of your son, until you had the temerity to inquire after the child's emotional well-being, will be of benefit to you.

It is an unfortunate fact that siblings do not have an inherent legal right to see each other in Ohio. Siblings MAY petition the court for visitation rights to each other:

Ohio Rev. Code Ann. 3109.051(B)(1) (Anderson 1996): In a divorce, dissolution of marriage, legal separation, annulment, or child support proceeding that involves a child, the court may grant reasonable companionship or visitation rights to any grandparent, any person related to the child by consanguinity or affinity, or any other person other than a parent.

...the tricks here being that 1) the statute is silent on the issue of parental death, and 2) the 14 year-old would have to petition, so HE would require a GAL as well.