case going to court

**shari69** · 05-15-2005, 09:31 AM

would like to know your thoughts on this...Absent parent for nine years has me served for custody,parenting time, and support in Sept 2004. Seven months go by,no contact with the child and no CS. I thinking since it will eventually be court ordered, Had my son spend spring break with the other parent for five days.. My son was very upset and cried when he got there..The bio man lives about 7 hours away.. I felt aweful about this as it was my idea.. I thought we need to be frequent on visits as this is a new relationship.. Well its may now and no contact still from the bio man.. We go to court on May 25. For nine years the man has been absent. He starts this legal action and is still playing the absent parent. Do I have any other options on this matter other than bio man getting visitation??shari

**aaron** · 05-15-2005, 12:00 PM

Now that he has initiated contact, and has petitioned for formal parenting time, it is unlikely that you can shut him out of your son's life. However, if the initial parenting time is not going well, you may want to petition the court to appoint a psychologist to recommend on a protocol for introducing and managing parenting time.

**shari69** · 08-03-2005, 10:24 PM

My case never went to court as we the bio and I signed the order my attorney prepared. My son spent 11 days with the bio and called everynight crying that he wanted to come home. This was his 5th visit. He has been back about three weeks and is showing major behavioral changes. Like wanting to know where I am going when I will be home, constantly worried about every ache and pain, Like chest pain side ache. visibly very anxious and he has been ending up in my bed in the middle of the night, which he has not done sence age 4. Iam seeking professional help for him as I am very worried that this vistation with the bio whom he has only seen a total of five times is going to fast and for two long at a time. My Question is my order was signed by judge on May 24 2005 can I have it modified already if its not in the childs best interest? He will have a mental evaluation August 18 th. Iam in no way trying to keep the child from a relationship with the bio. just need to make some changes as to the amount of time he spends at each visit. The court order is mother has sole legal and sole physical custody with bio having one week every other winter break and one week every other spring break and 35 days in the summer.. The summer is what we are having problems with even though the bio and I already agreed we would not have the child stay 35 days. At this point I am very sorry for signing the order as I should have went for a get to know type plan(local visits) Any thing I can do now to help my son legally??
Thank you
Shari

**aaron** · 08-04-2005, 09:59 AM

Was this a temporary order pending a mental health / custody evaluation of the parties? If so, do your best to get the evaluation completed, and talk to your attorney about what you can do to get the court to revisit the issue. If not, I again suggest that you speak to your attorney about having a psychologist evaluate the parties and facilitate parenting time.

**shari69** · 08-04-2005, 11:30 AM

no the order is final. I contacted my attorney(Iam no longer a client Now that the case is closed) He suggested a mental evaluation for my son which I had already made an appointment for my son to talk with a professional.. That was all he said he would do..Im guessing alot will depend on what the counciler says is going on with the child..From what I have already explained to the intake lady she said this situation with him and the bio is causing anxiety and trauma. There are no bonds or ties between the two and he needs to be evaluated so we can make a change for the childs emotional well being.. So Iam lost as to what I can do legally. The next visit is August 11 . I do not feel its in the childs best interest to send him for this next visit before he has a chance to talk with a profesional he really is a mess right now.. I have talked with the bio about everything and he agrees the lengths of the visits might have alot to do with the behavior change,but I am not trusting that this man will not come back to haunt me if we only verbaly agree to a visitation change.. I would like to make sure its done legally.
Shari