Transportation Costs and Responsibility

[Moony]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MN

I got the Order in the mail today after our hearing to modify parenting time. The order states that we will split transportation, but that I am to drop the kids off with him and he brings them back. This seems really odd, as isn't it usually "receiving parent picks up"? It's very specific, that I am to drop them off at his house in his town and he has to drop them off at my house in my town, so it's not that the judge mixed up "Petitioner" and "Respondent". It seems like doing it this way would leave it open for me to end up having to go get them after he refuses to bring them back and forcing me to provide transportation both ways. I know I could pursue contempt if that happens often enough but it seems silly to make that a possibility if you can avoid it. One could argue that if he hasn't done it before he probably won't do it now, but extenuating circumstances say there's a good chance he'll do this, including the fact that he motioned for me to provide all transportation in the first place. I responded with split transportation, "receiving parent picks up". Advice, comments?

[aardvarc]

It seems like doing it this way would leave it open for me to end up having to go get them after he refuses to bring them back and forcing me to provide transportation both ways. I know I could pursue contempt if that happens often enough but it seems silly to make that a possibility if you can avoid it. One could argue that if he hasn't done it before he probably won't do it now, but extenuating circumstances say there's a good chance he'll do this, including the fact that he motioned for me to provide all transportation in the first place. I responded with split transportation, "receiving parent picks up". Advice, comments?

Courts don't look into the future for problems of parents not obeying the orders. They issue the order with expectation that it'll be obeyed. Until there's ACTUALLY a problem, there isn't one (from a legal standpoint as far as the court is concerned what MIGHT happen will be dealt with IF it happens).

[Moony]

Courts don't look into the future for problems of parents not obeying the orders. They issue the order with expectation that it'll be obeyed. Until there's ACTUALLY a problem, there isn't one (from a legal standpoint as far as the court is concerned what MIGHT happen will be dealt with IF it happens).

I understood this much before about court orders in general. Are you telling me that there's no other reason for the judge to have ordered this than his arbitrary decision, without thought that it might be a better idea to order "receiving parent picks up" and avoid all the potential pitfalls with this order? Especially when it's the total opposite of what both of us presented to the judge?

[NdK1009]

You might try calling the judge's clerk and/or write a letter inquiring as to the accuracy of the order. Maybe it was an error. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to file for a modification. So, you may be stuck with trying it this way.

But, if I were you, I'd at least talk to your ex to see if he would agree to switch the pickups. I wouldn't argue that he might not return the kids, but that this ensures that he recieves the kids. (I'm not implying that you would purposefully keep the kids or make them late to see their father, I'm just pointing out that it might be better received if you argue this from his perspective.) If he does agree, remember to get it in writing, and bear in mind that this agreement is only effective as long as the two of you continue to agree to it.

[Moony]

I wondered if I there was a way I could do that. Thank you. As I said before, I don't believe it was a mistake because the judge spelled out, very specifically, that it is to be this way. I'll just have to trust that the judge had a reason for it and move on.

Today I found out I was right to be concerned with the pitfalls of doing it this way, though. My ex and I had a 20-minute discussion about things today (without fighting, for the first time ever!). He told me he has quit his job and that he may not have gas money to bring the boys back next weekend. I believe this may become a long-term thing due to the reason he quit his job. A red flag has popped up for me to make sure I cover my back if he calls and cancels visits because it sets me up for him trying to hold me in contempt by claiming I didn't show up with the kids. My mother suggested sending him a certified letter for each cancellation (with specifics of the phone conversation) and file a copy in our family court file to reduce the chances of him winning on contempt. Is this overkill, or is there something else I could/should do?