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  1. #1

    Unhappy Disability and Marriage

    I am a 27 year old woman who lives in WI. I am currently on Social Security disability through my own record----but hope to have my health improve and be off it in the future. The issue is that my boyfriend is 32 and is on social security disability due to severe hemophilia. he has never worked.
    we worry that if we ever wanted to get married or even live together, that it would mess up his benefits. is this true? if so, what can we do. there is no way we could afford his blood products that he needs to live--which costs about 15,000-20,000 dollars each month! At the time he has 3 sources that help him pay for his blood-Medicaid/care, another govt program, and his tribe-he is part native american and lives on a reservation.
    please help. this is so saddening. why can't people with disabilities live normal lives too? we have enough stress as it is that it does not seem fair.
    could we even live together?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,637

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    You need to figure out which, if any, of your benefits are "means tested", meaning that they depend upon your household income, and then determine if you will continue to qualify for some or all of those benefits even with your combined household income. If neither of you work, that probably isn't an issue.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    Thank you for your reply. i appreciate it as i don't know where else to ask.
    how do i go about finding out which benefits are 'means tested'? Where do i ask to find that out?
    Also, I don't plan on being on disability forever(as i am on it for chronic migraines that are slowly improving, so i hope to be off it in the future)----and if my boyfriend and i were to live together or be married, it wouldn't be for quite a long time in the future---as we have not been together yet a year. what would happen if i have an income---yet he is on disability/SSI---not sure which but assuming it may be SSI because he has had severe hemophilia since birth and has never worked. would that mess things up? what could we do? could we even just live together if i worked---not being married. how does that work?
    it is not the disability check that would be the big issue, but how to get his blood products---as they are so expensive only a millionare or someone with great resources could afford 15,000 dollar /month expenses.
    any advice is greatly appreciated.
    thank you

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,637

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    As the social services agencies through which you receive benefits.

    If you have more income in the future, and you have means-tested benefits, the benefits would be adjusted on the basis of your higher household income.

    There are lawyers who offer Medicaid planning services, including services to help ensure that people don't accidentally disqualify themselves or their family members from Medicaid benefits. You may wish to consult a lawyer about the consequences to your fiancé's Medicaid eligibility following marriage or an increase in income. There have been many problems in the past with disabled persons becoming ineligible for certain benefits due to their combined household incomes, and sometimes people choose not to marry for exactly the reason you describe.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    Thanks for your help/advice. I wish there was something to do to change these laws so people could get married and not lose benefits. It seems so unfair. I would never be able to afford my boyfriends' blood products---and I don't think any insurance would cover it either (as I said--it cost $15,000/month). So, it is so sad that it comes down to, if we wanted to get married then my boyfriend would die because he couldn't get his blood products. It doesn't make sense. I may be wrong, but it seems like some sort of discrimination to the disabled.
    Is there anything else to do? I so want to have a future with my boyfriend---I can accept not getting married---------but could I even live with him? I have heard that would mess things up too---is that true? Does it mess up his benefits if we would live together without being married. Or if he was like a roomate who paid rent and his own expenses? Would something like that screw things up? Or what do people do in the situation where they want to get married but can't and they still want a "normal" life together?
    Thanks for all your helpful advice as I am very discouraged and don't know where to turn.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    Hi,
    The young lady who posted here, on getting married while getting disability.
    I want to let you know that I am in your shoes as well.
    It is not fare, seems to be discriminating that we cant get amrried.
    Hang in there

    Kelly

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1

    Unhappy Re: Disability and Marriage

    i too am in the same boat my boyfriend and i live together now for almost 6 months and want to be married to do things proper - but i am on disability and have never worked ever due to health problems - if we get married i would lose my check in my state if your husband to be makes over 500 a month you lose your check. And come on now who can live on 500 a month with rent, bills, groceries & gas etc ? (i cant just have him work less and just make not more than 500 a month so that i dont lose my 500 a month check)

    So for now we are hoping that Obama will be able to change the rules and that he will do it to make it more far. For example if the spouse makes over a much larger amount of money a month than i could see losing a check. But no way can both people live on less than 1,500 a month for all bills etc. My boyfriend makes 1500 a month and because he is needing that money for a attorney for getting his papers fixed, hes from Mexico we cant go and just spend it on what ever. I have to keep getting my check and he has to keep getting his check from work also. So what to do ? I guess just wait for Obama to change things with the law and pray that he changes this law as well as the law for immigrants as well. Remember people we are all immigrants unless you are native american.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    Quote Quoting faerie131978
    View Post
    Thank you for your reply. i appreciate it as i don't know where else to ask.
    how do i go about finding out which benefits are 'means tested'? Where do i ask to find that out?
    Also, I don't plan on being on disability forever(as i am on it for chronic migraines that are slowly improving, so i hope to be off it in the future)----and if my boyfriend and i were to live together or be married, it wouldn't be for quite a long time in the future---as we have not been together yet a year. what would happen if i have an income---yet he is on disability/SSI---not sure which but assuming it may be SSI because he has had severe hemophilia since birth and has never worked. would that mess things up? what could we do? could we even just live together if i worked---not being married. how does that work?
    it is not the disability check that would be the big issue, but how to get his blood products---as they are so expensive only a millionare or someone with great resources could afford 15,000 dollar /month expenses.
    any advice is greatly appreciated.
    thank you
    "My 14 year Migraines are gone like magic" Mai
    This process changes your blood from bad to near perfect in 3 weeks. Your body can heal itself if you go to http://www.LiveWith.NatureRich.net Purchase one of the healthy packages. Use 1-ounce of Mineral Soap and 2-ounces of Energizing Mineral Bath or 2-ounces of Neutralizer in as hot of a bath as you can take for 40 minutes. Do this every night or twice daily. If you can't get into a bath then have a hot foot soak for 40 minutes. Use the Mineral Gel on Pain affected areas and pain is gone within seconds. This method has been used on Multiple Sclerosis patients. They have results in 30 days. "Fibromyalgia is typically gone in 2 weeks." Diane Buhr (RN).

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    Quote Quoting faerie131978
    View Post
    Iwe worry that if we ever wanted to get married or even live together, that it would mess up his benefits. is this true? if so, what can we do. please help. this is so saddening. why can't people with disabilities live normal lives too? we have enough stress as it is that it does not seem fair.
    could we even live together?
    First, I need a definition of "mess up his benefits". Second, the place you get definitive answers to these questions is at the Social Security office. Anything anyone here, including me, tells you, is based on the pieces of information that you provide which may not have included all pertinent information. So the answers can be wrong as well.

    However, I will make some general observations.

    SSI, Supplemental Security Income, is a means tested benefit. You could also call it welfare for the disabled and elderly. SSDI, Social Security Disability Insurance is not means tested benefit. It is based on contributions to the Social Security system through payroll taxes made while working. SSI does consider all sources of income in determining SSI payments, including deemed income from a spouse. There is a formula. The more money the spouse receives from whatever source, the less money the SSI recipient qualifies for. When both members of a couple are disabled, sometimes it is a good idea for both to apply for SSI as a couple even when one already has SSDI. Generally, SSI benefits are higher when there are two needy people rather than one needy person.

    If "mess up his benefits" means any change at all, then the answer is probably yes, but it depends upon how much your total income and resources are. If "mess up his benefits" means stopping everything entirely, the answer is probably no, but since you haven't provided all the facts about income and resources, that answer could be wrong too.

    If an SSI recipient lives with a person who is not their spouse and they do not represent themselves as being married, then the income of the other person is not used in computing the SSI benefits unless the other person gives them money. If you live with a spouse, the deeming formula determines an amount that is used in computing SSI regardless of whether the spouse gives money to the SSI recipient. It is possible for two or three or ten adults/children to live together and not reduce the SSI benefits as long as the SSI beneficiary pays his/her share of household expenses. So, it is possible that you and your boyfriend can live together as two separate economic units (no mingling of money, no jointly owned bank accounts) and split bills 50/50 and not have SSI affected or "messed up".

    You need to talk to an SSI claims rep at your local office who has access to all the data needed.

    Quote Quoting Sheela750
    View Post
    i too am in the same boat my boyfriend and i live together now for almost 6 months and want to be married to do things proper - but i am on disability and have never worked ever due to health problems - if we get married i would lose my check in my state if your husband to be makes over 500 a month you lose your check. And come on now who can live on 500 a month with rent, bills, groceries & gas etc ? (i cant just have him work less and just make not more than 500 a month so that i dont lose my 500 a month check)

    So for now we are hoping that Obama will be able to change the rules and that he will do it to make it more far. For example if the spouse makes over a much larger amount of money a month than i could see losing a check. But no way can both people live on less than 1,500 a month for all bills etc. My boyfriend makes 1500 a month and because he is needing that money for a attorney for getting his papers fixed, hes from Mexico we cant go and just spend it on what ever. I have to keep getting my check and he has to keep getting his check from work also. So what to do ? I guess just wait for Obama to change things with the law and pray that he changes this law as well as the law for immigrants as well. Remember people we are all immigrants unless you are native american.
    You are wrong that if your husband makes $500 that you will automatically lose SSI benefits. There is a formula and all income amounts are taken into consideration. If the only income is $500 from spouse wages and nothing but SSI for the disabled person, the $674 federal benefit would not be reduced to zero.

    And sure, all Americans come from immigrants, but are you advocating letting anyone from anywhere come to the United States to live? Just open up the borders and tell everyone in the world to come to live here? There is not a country in the world that does that. Mexico doesn't. Canada doesn't. China, Russia, India, Nigeria, Brazil, Germany doesn't. Or do you think there should be rules about who can is allowed to live and work in the US?

    And even Native Americans immigrated from Asia centuries and centuries ago, crossing the Bering Straits from Siberia to Alaska during the Ice Age. And people who live in Central and South American are also descendants from immigrants. If you believe that human life started in the Garden of Eden or if you believe we evolved from lower life forms, everyone everywhere came from one spot, which makes the entire world a bunch of immigrants. And the cause of many wars has been protecting turf from invaders or people who want to make your home into their home.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    1

    Default Re: Disability and Marriage

    This is the best explained and informative post I have seen for this. It is accurate. There are a lot of problems with the system when it comes to marriage and survival if you are ill or disabled. I wanted to thank you for your informative and correct explanation of current rules. They need to be amended so that people can try to achieve independence from the system without being penalized or punished for success without fear of partial success that results in the loss of benefits.

    It does not make sense for someone to lose coverage for their $5,000 a month medication when they only make a few hundred dollars more in income or marry into a second unsubstantial income and they should not be afraid to return to work even if it is only sporadic or temporary employment because they are unsure of their future and health. Even at middle class income rates people who are ill or disabled can not afford to their medication. Poverty should not be a mandatory existence because of illness. Just wanted to say good job and God bless us all and we will overcome this injustice and incompetence.

    Quote Quoting Janke
    View Post
    First, I need a definition of "mess up his benefits". Second, the place you get definitive answers to these questions is at the Social Security office. Anything anyone here, including me, tells you, is based on the pieces of information that you provide which may not have included all pertinent information. So the answers can be wrong as well.

    However, I will make some general observations.

    SSI, Supplemental Security Income, is a means tested benefit. You could also call it welfare for the disabled and elderly. SSDI, Social Security Disability Insurance is not means tested benefit. It is based on contributions to the Social Security system through payroll taxes made while working. SSI does consider all sources of income in determining SSI payments, including deemed income from a spouse. There is a formula. The more money the spouse receives from whatever source, the less money the SSI recipient qualifies for. When both members of a couple are disabled, sometimes it is a good idea for both to apply for SSI as a couple even when one already has SSDI. Generally, SSI benefits are higher when there are two needy people rather than one needy person.

    If "mess up his benefits" means any change at all, then the answer is probably yes, but it depends upon how much your total income and resources are. If "mess up his benefits" means stopping everything entirely, the answer is probably no, but since you haven't provided all the facts about income and resources, that answer could be wrong too.

    If an SSI recipient lives with a person who is not their spouse and they do not represent themselves as being married, then the income of the other person is not used in computing the SSI benefits unless the other person gives them money. If you live with a spouse, the deeming formula determines an amount that is used in computing SSI regardless of whether the spouse gives money to the SSI recipient. It is possible for two or three or ten adults/children to live together and not reduce the SSI benefits as long as the SSI beneficiary pays his/her share of household expenses. So, it is possible that you and your boyfriend can live together as two separate economic units (no mingling of money, no jointly owned bank accounts) and split bills 50/50 and not have SSI affected or "messed up".

    You need to talk to an SSI claims rep at your local office who has access to all the data needed.



    You are wrong that if your husband makes $500 that you will automatically lose SSI benefits. There is a formula and all income amounts are taken into consideration. If the only income is $500 from spouse wages and nothing but SSI for the disabled person, the $674 federal benefit would not be reduced to zero.

    And sure, all Americans come from immigrants, but are you advocating letting anyone from anywhere come to the United States to live? Just open up the borders and tell everyone in the world to come to live here? There is not a country in the world that does that. Mexico doesn't. Canada doesn't. China, Russia, India, Nigeria, Brazil, Germany doesn't. Or do you think there should be rules about who can is allowed to live and work in the US?

    And even Native Americans immigrated from Asia centuries and centuries ago, crossing the Bering Straits from Siberia to Alaska during the Ice Age. And people who live in Central and South American are also descendants from immigrants. If you believe that human life started in the Garden of Eden or if you believe we evolved from lower life forms, everyone everywhere came from one spot, which makes the entire world a bunch of immigrants. And the cause of many wars has been protecting turf from invaders or people who want to make your home into their home.

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