Guardianship or Custody

[wonderingfiance]

Here is the story. My fiance which I just proposed to her about 2 weeks ago was in a car accident last novemeber, she is 21 and was 21 when it happened. Her mom says she has custody of her because she was in a coma and still cant do everything herself. Walk without a walker and work right now. Amongst some other things, she had 2 brain injuries and is on a good amount of medication. Now is it custody her mom has or guardianship? Im asking because her mom wont let us do anything, sleep over....come to my house by herself. Saying we are moving to fast, but I have known her a long time before the accident and started dating after. Anyone know how I can get around this, she is basically treating her like a child. Please help! Btw the state we are in is Maine.

[Dogmatique]

I'm pretty sure you asked this elsewhere but on the off-chance that you didn't...

...either your fiance is mentally competent, or she isn't.

You need to first discover whether Mom actually has guardianship based upon mental incompetence.

[wonderingfiance]

Would you know how to go about doing that? I could ask her mom but she might not want to prove it.

[Dogmatique]

Your fiancee should be the one asking.

She should demand proof of her mother's legal guardianship or custodianship.

[wonderingfiance]

Yea I figured that much, im just thinking her mom might not show her.Then what

[Dogmatique]

Then your fiancee is free to do whatever the heck she pleases; if Mom really does want to rock the boat she'll have to prove that she has the legal right to do so.

I'm sorry - I can't really think of anything practical to advise other than perhaps check at the local courthouse. The records should be public, although your girlfriend may be the one who has to go and investigate.

How severely brain injured IS your fiancee?

I'm going to revise my answer somewhat.

No matter what your girlfriend's age or status, if she lives at Mom's house she will have to go by Mom's rules.

If Mom says no dating at the house...then there's no dating at the house.

If your fiancee wants autonomy she'll have to move out.

[wonderingfiance]

She can talk fine if you listen to her.....she makes deicisons and still knows when to ask for help and what she needs and when. Knows when she needs her meds...I truly believe she is mentally compitent.