Can My Non-Biological Mom Get Custody Instead of My Biological Father

[Thatguy9871]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Connecticut .

Hello ; I am 14 years old and live in Connecticut.Over the past few years as I have been growing up,I have started disliking life at home lots and lots more.My mom left the house when I was 11 because she could just not take life with my father anymore.He is the reason I am also posting this thread.He is a really stingy.grumpy and much to hard to talk to.I CANNOT take living with him much longer.I feel one day either he is going to snap,or I will.This day may be sooner than later but I am almost sure it will happen.I have my Non-Biological mother (the one I stated above) that says I can come live with her.

I love her dearly and we always get along.Me and my father constantly argue.I am afraid to ask him questions and we don't talk.We will maybe have one good 15 second conversation once a week before it gets out of hand.I do not want to talk to him and get him to change because he never does.Me and my mother have reported him to the DCF (Department of Children and Familes) and we are in a 45 day investigation.He does not beat me but he does smack me around at times.I guess that's discipline.I am begging and praying to get away from him.He is extremely tricky and rude to me and I cannot live a life with a family member I cannot get along with.My Non-Biological mother will take me in for a fact.I guarantee life with her would be much much better.I wanted to know is there any way I can get away from my father and If there is could you please explain every single step I need to take.

But first;Lets talk about how he manipulated me.When he was reported to the DCF;He said he didn't hit me but he disciplined me.This was true.I'm sorry the DCF had to get involved myself.At the end of the day,He comes and tells me to sit down and tells me how disappointed he is in me.He scares me alot especially with this statement."Children who hate their father are not good children in gods eyes."I do not hate my father,I hate living with him because he makes life hard but I do not hate him.Soon after I went crying into his shoulder and he said "We'll get through this together."Lies.All ies.He still treats me the way he did before and there has been no adjustment.Now - He is making me attempt to drop the investigation.I am 14 and I heard High school are the best 4 years of your life and I can't do it with him as a dad.I go to sleep crying or with headaches at times thinking about what I'm going to do.All I want is away from him.He does not know how to raise a child in my opinion.He does do his share of good parenting but I am not allowed to do anything normal kids do.The last thing me and my dad have done together was years ago i can't even remember.

Normally;Parents would want to get close to their children.He did try to with me but I declined it.Whenever we get going we have like i said up to 15 seconds before he takes something the wrong way and starts raising his voice.Living with this man is like hell itself and at times I would rather be at a Foster Home or an Orphanage than here and I would go any day of the week for good if he would let me go with my Non-Biological mother.By the way;they are divorced.I found out earlier last year that she was not my biological mother.This put me in tears and made my days at school very hard.She is all I have for a mother and she treats me better than a mother.She was always there for me and is a caring,loving,considerate person.I can't say that about my dad.Please if there is anything you recommend or can instruct me to do;Do it.I need all the help i can get.Thank you all for your kindness and time for reading this long thread.

-Thatguy

[LawResearcherMissy]

Over the past few years as I have been growing up,I have started disliking life at home lots and lots more.

You're supposed to. That's part of how being a teenager works.

I have my Non-Biological mother (the one I stated above) that says I can come live with her.

Do you mean she's your step-mother? Where's your bio-mother? Did your step-mother legally adopt you?

[Thatguy9871]

Im really not good with my family tree but she is my step-mom but they divorced so im not sure if she's still legally my stepmom.
I've never seen my biological mother and I don't plan on it.
No ; My stepmom wants me to live with her and I want to live with her too.I currently live with my dad and he is my legal gaurdian.

[Baystategirl]

Im really not good with my family tree but she is my step-mom but they divorced so im not sure if she's still legally my stepmom.
I've never seen my biological mother and I don't plan on it.
No ; My stepmom wants me to live with her and I want to live with her too.I currently live with my dad and he is my legal gaurdian.

Your EX-Stepmother has absolutely no rights to you and should not be encouraging your delusions.

EVEN IF the State were to find Dad to be abusive...You would not be place with this person.

[Thatguy9871]

So there is basically no change whatsoever of me going to live with my mom?

[LawResearcherMissy]

If she didn't adopt you, then no. She's now legally a stranger to you, and has zero rights.

Look, I know you think your life sucks and your father is a horrible person. And maybe he is, but it seems to me that if DFS is involved and you're still there...well, maybe you're not being abused after all. If DFS determines that you ARE being abused, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that you'll be placed with your former step-mother. They'll put you in foster care for a while, try to help your Dad get his act together, and back to Dad you'll go.

Trust me on this one. Been there, done that. No, you really WOULD NOT like foster care better.

I have a 14 year old. He thinks his life sucks, too. He doesn't like doing the dishes or cutting the grass or helping with laundry or doing his homework, or any of the other myriad things that cut into his video game time. He thinks it's "rude" when, after the 4th or 5th attempt to get him up for school, I tell him if he doesn't drag his skinny ass out of bed, I'll send the dog up to drag it out for him. He tells us he's "going to snap". He complains at the unfairness of it all.

His 18 year-old brother used to do the same thing, until he morphed back into a pleasant and funny human being.

It's hormones, kid. You'll get over 'em.

[Dogmatique]

Unless both of your parents agree, that's correct.

[Thatguy9871]

Alright ; Final question though.What if he allowed me to go live with her?Would he have to sign over his rights?

[Dogmatique]

Your MOM would also have to agree.

Not your stepmom - your MOM.

[LawResearcherMissy]

The court will not allow him to sign away his parental rights to a legal stranger.

He could consent to her having guardianship of you, but he could have it rescinded at any time.