Custody and Visitation of Infant Who Has Never Met Father

[SingleMom12]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: West Virginia.

My child is almost 8 months old. Her father (from Iowa), whom I did not put on the birth cert., has never seen her and only communicates with me to start fights and threaten me, never even asks about the welfare of the child. He has never contributed financially and often threatens going to court but all his threats have been idle except for ordering a paternity test. He has no job, no car, and is an excessive abuser of alcohol. He is very inappropriate (language etc...) which I have evidence of. Every time he has asked about visiting I've made the child available but have made clear that they would be supervised, which he does not like. The last time he planned to visit he cancelled less than 24 hours in advance because he did not like the location where the visit was to take place (gave him a choice of 4 different locations).

I'm just wondering if/when this goes to court, what kind of custody/visitation should I be prepared for? Also, the paternity test came back positive, what should I be expecting now? Is there a hearing following the results, or does he need to initiate that?

[mershu]

Because you both are in different states at the onset of this case, I would guess that you would both split transportation expenses and time. Unless you use to live in Iowa and moved away?

While establishing a visitation schedule, the baby's father might fly in for a weekend while the baby stays with him at a hotel. You might have alternate flying into Iowa to facilitate splitting the transportation, expenses and time.

As the child gets older and visitation gets longer (until school) up to every other weekend and weeks/months in the summer -- or alternative schedule that gives dad 15-20% visitation or more. Might make sense to have the child spend a month at dads, then a month a your place, etc. Dad might fly into VA to pick child up and you might have to fly into Iowa at the end of the visit to pick the child up. This splits expenses and time sink.

Once the child starts school and is able to fly as a minor, you'll most likely be bound to the school schedule (spring break, alternating thanksgiving, splitting winter break so that Christmas day alternates, long school weekends of 3+ days, weeks/months in the summer, etc.) To split expenses you might want to alternate who buys the ticket, with the understanding that the person placing the child on the plane pays for the UM Fee for that leg of the trip.

So in addition to paying and receiving child support, you two will have a tremendous amount of travel and daycare expenses (in both locations). Unless you can live in the same metropolitan city.

It's not easy, but it can be done if your goal is for the child to have a good relationship with each parent.

[Xena]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: West Virginia.

My child is almost 8 months old. Her father (from Iowa), whom I did not put on the birth cert., has never seen her and only communicates with me to start fights and threaten me, never even asks about the welfare of the child. He has never contributed financially and often threatens going to court but all his threats have been idle except for ordering a paternity test. He has no job, no car, and is an excessive abuser of alcohol. He is very inappropriate (language etc...) which I have evidence of. Every time he has asked about visiting I've made the child available but have made clear that they would be supervised, which he does not like. The last time he planned to visit he cancelled less than 24 hours in advance because he did not like the location where the visit was to take place (gave him a choice of 4 different locations).

I'm just wondering if/when this goes to court, what kind of custody/visitation should I be prepared for? Also, the paternity test came back positive, what should I be expecting now? Is there a hearing following the results, or does he need to initiate that?

You seem to want to control every aspect of visitation. Once this goes to court you can expect that you will no longer have total control- the laws and the court order will.

Unless you have some very strong proof that Dad presents a real danger to his child, you can expect that visits MIGHT be supervised at first, but only due to the child's age. You can expect that at some point the visits will no longer be supervised.

You complained that dad has not contributed financially, he isn't legally required to until there is a court order for CS. Yes, he could file for that if he wishes, but at the same time, you can file yourself rather than waiting for him to. If you file through the state CSE agency the cost is very minimal to you.

[Dogmatique]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: West Virginia.

My child is almost 8 months old. Her father (from Iowa), whom I did not put on the birth cert., has never seen her and only communicates with me to start fights and threaten me, never even asks about the welfare of the child. He has never contributed financially and often threatens going to court but all his threats have been idle except for ordering a paternity test. He has no job, no car, and is an excessive abuser of alcohol. He is very inappropriate (language etc...) which I have evidence of.

You picked him as Dad; the court will agree with your choice unless you can prove that he's unfit. Nothing you've said here proves that he's unfit.

Every time he has asked about visiting I've made the child available but have made clear that they would be supervised, which he does not like. The last time he planned to visit he cancelled less than 24 hours in advance because he did not like the location where the visit was to take place (gave him a choice of 4 different locations).

I'm just wondering if/when this goes to court, what kind of custody/visitation should I be prepared for? Also, the paternity test came back positive, what should I be expecting now? Is there a hearing following the results, or does he need to initiate that?

There are several great websites out there detailing parenting schedules for young infants. Start googling!

With that said, the paternity hearing will not result in a visitation schedule being ordered; Dad will have to file separately.