Other Parent Not Following Visitation Orders

**xanthian23** · 08-05-2010, 09:57 PM

Hi, I'm out in California, riverside county. I recently went to court over visitation, in the order are the drop off orders which says she has to drop the kids off every Friday by 5:30 pm at my house, and I have to drop them off at her house every Sunday by 7 pm. Over the last two months she's never dropped them when she's supposed to. If she actually manages to drop them off on Friday, it's usually between 12-2 pm. Aside from that she keeps asking me to meet her here or these, or she just flat out refuses to drop them off at all, requiring me to go pick them up Friday, and then drop them off Sunday. She constantly calls or text's me on Sunday to verify if I'm going to be on time Sunday's when I drop them off, which I always am, and I usually get a call every Wednesday or Thursday where she tells me she can't or wont do it for various reasons, most of which are that she hasn't received her support check from child support services that week, (although it does get paid on time), so she doesn't have the gas.
So does anyone know what I do when she doesn't show up with the kids? Do I call the police and have them make a report every time so I have proof? I don't trust the judge to just believe me since when we were in court she believed every single lie my ex told her, and would listen to anything I had to say. If you can help with some advice, I'd really appreciate it.

**aardvarc** · 08-06-2010, 12:34 AM

Talk with your attorney about how to document times when the children aren't dropped off for visitation. Police aren't about to stop by and take a "report" on a civil matter.

**NdK1009** · 08-06-2010, 07:08 AM

Quoting xanthian23

Hi, I'm out in California, riverside county. I recently went to court over visitation, in the order are the drop off orders which says she has to drop the kids off every Friday by 5:30 pm at my house, and I have to drop them off at her house every Sunday by 7 pm. Over the last two months she's never dropped them when she's supposed to. If she actually manages to drop them off on Friday, it's usually between 12-2 pm. Aside from that she keeps asking me to meet her here or these, or she just flat out refuses to drop them off at all, requiring me to go pick them up Friday, and then drop them off Sunday. She constantly calls or text's me on Sunday to verify if I'm going to be on time Sunday's when I drop them off, which I always am, and I usually get a call every Wednesday or Thursday where she tells me she can't or wont do it for various reasons, most of which are that she hasn't received her support check from child support services that week, (although it does get paid on time), so she doesn't have the gas.
So does anyone know what I do when she doesn't show up with the kids? Do I call the police and have them make a report every time so I have proof? I don't trust the judge to just believe me since when we were in court she believed every single lie my ex told her, and would listen to anything I had to say. If you can help with some advice, I'd really appreciate it.

I agree with Aardvarc that you need to consult your attorney, but I also know from experience that you need to save those texts and keep detailed notes of when and how you do/don't receive your visitation. I have found that a color-coded calendar (created on Word) can be extremely persuasive, and is admissable in court as notes or evidence.

**Deesandoval** · 08-20-2010, 11:46 PM

I went to court in aug of 08 it was court ordered fro him to have kids every other weekend and every Wednesday he complied for a few wks and stopped. It has been a year and half and now he has brought police to my house today to take the kids for the weekend after all this time of not seeing them. Is there anything I can do now to keep him from seeing them, I don't feel it's in the best interest of children for him to come and go as he pleases, he also owes me $14,000 at this point in child support. What are my options to stop him from taking them while I file papers to modify visitation?

**Dogmatique** · 08-21-2010, 09:17 AM

Honestly - you really must follow the court order but truly if it's been over 18 months I would perhaps take the risk of being found in contempt and refuse.

The police generally won't force you to hand over the kids; they'll usually simply tell you both it's a civil matter and tell Dad to take you to court.

How old are the kids?

**Deesandoval** · 08-21-2010, 11:43 AM

They are 6 and 4... I am definitely not comfortable with them going with him, and the police officer asked him for his address he was not willing to provide. I have no idea where he is living or where he is living with.

**Dogmatique** · 08-21-2010, 11:45 AM

Then - and I rarely, rarely advise this - I would NOT let them go with him after an 18 month absence. I would absolutely risk getting my wrist slapped in court...but I doubt that would happen at all actually.

And that's not even touching on the fact that you wouldn't know where they are!!

You need to file immediately to modify the current orders; there needs to be a reintroduction period of supervised visitation before he gets to take them overnight.