I Filed a Motion to Modify Parenting and Restrict Parenting Time

[da3ley]

Last month i did this and now the respondent is responding. His response is that he wants me to undergo a physicatric evaluation and to have the courts appoint a CFI. I know the CFI is not on my side, but is there a way I can actually file another motion to reply to his response? THere is abuse involved here and we both have 3 lovely children. My ex husband is endangering our childrens live both physically and emotionally. My 11 year old no longer wants to live there (ex husband has residential care of my 11 year old ) and I am the residential caretaker of the other 2 children. ANy advice? I live in COLORADO Also, He is asking the courts that I undergo this evaluation b4 the hearing set on 8/24/ can i stop this or do i have to wait for the hearing date set. or will it be too late then?

[Dogmatique]

What exactly are you fighting against?

And why?

[da3ley]

What exactly are you fighting against?

And why?

my exhusband has guns (unsecured) that are within reach (as well as ammunition) in front of our children. My 11 year old son told me that he wanted to kill himself and picked up the gun. Thank god he is okay. My son wrote a letter to the judge to explain what is going on when he is over there. My daughters have also concurred with what my son has said. Not only is there unsecured guns lying around the house, as well as pornographic material. His fridge is rarley stocked, his house full of mice droppings and unspeakably filthy dirty.

The depression and the suicidal attempt made by my 11 year old was enough to send me reeling. I have no lawyer btw. He doesnt want me to be the residential caretaker b/c he loves the control he has over myself and our son. All i am asking for is that the courts intervene b4 it is too late. I have social services involved right now, but they dont seem to really care. Thank you for responding btw. I am asking that the courts give him visitation every other weekend., and that I become residential caretaker of my son. That is it.

[aardvarc]

Last month i did this and now the respondent is responding. His response is that he wants me to undergo a physicatric evaluation and to have the courts appoint a CFI.

Sounds pretty typical in a custody battle situation. One side pokes the lion, even with good reason, the lion typically isn't just going to roll over without a fight. This is his way of making you miserable for filing the motion.

I know the CFI is not on my side,

Because.....?

but is there a way I can actually file another motion to reply to his response?

Probably. But this is something your attorney should do. Please tell us that you ARE working with an attorney on this. The stakes here are WAY too high for this to be a do-it-yourself project.

THere is abuse involved here and we both have 3 lovely children. My ex husband is endangering our childrens live both physically and emotionally. My 11 year old no longer wants to live there (ex husband has residential care of my 11 year old ) and I am the residential caretaker of the other 2 children. ANy advice?

Emotional abuse, although horrible for the child, typically isn't enough to start the ball rolling for a custody issue; UNLESS that emotional abuse involves something like forced witnessing or participation in criminal activity. The physcial dangers you describe however, particularly the availability of weapons to a suicidal teen, should be setting off sirens. The hard part of getting action is that although most states have laws to discourage such availability, they typically don't come into play unless an actual incident (discharge) has occurred, and as you can imagine, often by that time, the one time is too many too late. Most such laws function to increase penalties after the fact when minors access and use the weapon, but rarely just for easy access. And of course dad is going to claim that he didn't KNOW about the suicidal issue.

Was your motion a general custody modification motion, or an emergency request? (Expect his attorney to argue that "if it was SO dangerous, why didn't she file an emergency petition".)

[da3ley]

Thank you for responding. The reason i say that CFI is not on my side is because I am sure that his lawyer will want one that they recommend as well as their own to do the "evaluation".

I am going to request that the courts appoint an attorney (gal) this thursday and hopefully this will be granted. the motion had 2 check marks in it. one was to restrict parenting time, the other was to modify it. i checked off on both of these. the clerk told me that this would make the difference if this was a regular modification or one that was seen right away. we were supposed to get a date set in 7 days, but that didnt happen at all.

[aardvarc]

OK - that would makes sense that the request to restrict time, and not just modify it, would bump it up in priority. Stay on them and call every day until you've got a definitive court date.

Good job in requesting a GAL.

Start thinking ahead on your strategy. Remember, the crux of this, although the availability of firearms is at the forefront, is that your son is potentially suicidal and you are arguing that there is improper supervision. Firearms are only one convenient method, but if there is rope, prescription medication, enough bottles of asprin, or a thousand other potential suicide "helpers" that are in anyone's home, then ANY residence, with just normal parental supervision isn't much safer. Be prepared to tell the court exactly how you'll be able to provide or arrange for the level of supervision that a potentially suicidal teen really needs. You can't possibly remove EVERY potential method, so center your focus on your strategy to keep him as supervised as possible by yourself or other responsible adults, after school programs, etc.

It wouldn't hurt to also be prepared by coming to court with a listing of local therapists, whether or not they take your insurance (or dad's insurance if he's covered by dad), whether or not you've spoken to them about if they are taking new clients, a proposed schedule you'd be able to provide, any area of specialty they might have that's relevent to the child's needs, etc.

Go above and beyond telling the court that you can do better. Bring your evidence that you've already done a good bit of the legwork and planning to make being with you better than where he's at now and what resources you've potentially got lined up on his behalf.

[da3ley]

OK - that would makes sense that the request to restrict time, and not just modify it, would bump it up in priority. Stay on them and call every day until you've got a definitive court date.

Good job in requesting a GAL.

Start thinking ahead on your strategy. Remember, the crux of this, although the availability of firearms is at the forefront, is that your son is potentially suicidal and you are arguing that there is improper supervision. Firearms are only one convenient method, but if there is rope, prescription medication, enough bottles of asprin, or a thousand other potential suicide "helpers" that are in anyone's home, then ANY residence, with just normal parental supervision isn't much safer. Be prepared to tell the court exactly how you'll be able to provide or arrange for the level of supervision that a potentially suicidal teen really needs. You can't possibly remove EVERY potential method, so center your focus on your strategy to keep him as supervised as possible by yourself or other responsible adults, after school programs, etc.

It wouldn't hurt to also be prepared by coming to court with a listing of local therapists, whether or not they take your insurance (or dad's insurance if he's covered by dad), whether or not you've spoken to them about if they are taking new clients, a proposed schedule you'd be able to provide, any area of specialty they might have that's relevent to the child's needs, etc.

Go above and beyond telling the court that you can do better. Bring your evidence that you've already done a good bit of the legwork and planning to make being with you better than where he's at now and what resources you've potentially got lined up on his behalf.

Yes, I go tommorrow to file the motion for the gal. Thank you for this info, it is greatly appreciated. Btw, my son told me today that he went ahead and locked up that guns and that he applied some type of "trigger lock" on the others that didnt get locked up. I asked him how he knew this and he said he actually saw that they were put away. THANK GOD! If anything this is a relief off of my shoulders...big time. Now for the hard part...hoping they will speak with the children in private and get a painted picture of what actually has been going on over there that is detrimental to their physcal and mental wellbeing. I will be asking the court facilitator at the mandatory conference sched 8/24 to please speak with the children in private...all 3 of them. again Catherine (hope you dont mind) thank you so much for the info.