My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Mexico
A little background information: My son is 5 years old living with his mother in New Mexico. I am in the military and have been stationed in AK for almost the last two years. My X & I both share Joint Legal Custody, but she has Physical custody of our son since we've been divorced. My visitations are every other weekend, and one day during the week. I also have 6 weeks visitation in the summer, and we alternate 1/2 of the holidays during even/odd numbered years. Father's day is with me, mother's day is with her, my son's birthday is to be spent with both of us having visitation. Our custody order went into effect in the beginning of 2006 and has not been modified since that time.
While I was living in the same city as my son, my visitations were upheld and carried out. There was an instance where my X disappeared for 4 day while our son was extremely ill. She refused to return to help care for our son. She's been verbally abusive over the phone towards me while I'm trying to talk to her about our son. I've been hung up on numerous times, and I'd say almost 90% of the time when I call to speak to our son, all I get is her voicemail. It seems that this is her method of keeping me out of my sons life as much as possible. I can't even begin to tell you the countless times I've left messages on her phone asking to speak to our son. The times that I've gotten to speak to my X, about 80-90% of the time our son isn't with her. I've learned that our son spends half the week or more out of her care and with her mother. The extremely few instances where I can actually get ahold of my son and speak to him, is mostly interrupted by "someone" distracting my son : giving him a book to read while he's on the phone with me, having him play video games & try to talk to me at the same time. When I speak to my X and she actually has my son in her care, she say's things like "here, its your dad" or things to that extent with a rude tone in her voice while she's telling our son I'm on the phone wanting to speak with him.
She's moved outside of the home city of our son(taking him with) on 3 different occasions. She did move to another state after we were divorced and that was the only notification I've had. She didn't tell me when she moved back to our son's home city, or anything. I was left to find these things out after the fact. She's constantly having new/unknown men around my son.. a fact that I see as instability on her part for keeping a good parental role around our son. Not to discredit her soon to be x husband, but they are getting divorced aren't they? As far as she's told me, there's another man living with her currently, and she's actually provided me with his name (although she didn't give me it correctly, probably hoping that I wouldn't be able to see if there was anything bad relative to him in case he would be perceived as a bad influence around my son) and other minute details about him. My X is extremely uncooperative. She never tells me anything that is going on in our son's life, activities etc. She acts like anything I ask about our son is none of my business.
I've remarried, and I don't have any other children. It seems to me that the fact that family courts snub their noses at any father's in the military that want something more than just the weekends with their child(ren).
I've read about custodial interference, and have heard a little about contempt charges, but I'm not sure if these are even applicable to my X? I really feel that the situation has changed quite significantly in the last 4 years, and that I'm considering filing for a modification of custody. I know that my son is being bounced around from my X's to her mothers on a constant basis, and I know that I can provide much more time for our son than she has demonstrated.
Can't something be done in the courts? What are my options?