Refusing Visitation

[justadaddy]

My daughter's mother is refusing visitation this week because I am working. She always holds my work schedule against me. If I am not available to watch our children, they shouldn't be here. When I go to work, my spouse watches them until I come back. Right now she's taking me back to court and I am asking for modification. But meanwhile, what can I do when she refuses to give me the children. I was told to "file contempt" but I have no clue on what's that or how to go about filing it.
Can someone just please tell me what it is and how I can file it?
Thanks

[Mr. Knowitall]

As you were told when you posted, laws are different in each state. In some states there will be a court agency that can help you enforce visitation violations. In others you'll need to bring a motion with the court. Given that you're litigating custody and visitation issues, it would make sense for you to be working with a lawyer.

[justadaddy]

I have a lawyer working on it...but now, three thousand dollars later she seems tooo busy to return my phone calls. I feel like she has no longer any interest in my case as she moves forward with her own divorce and other cases. Meanwhile, I just wanted to get this doubt clarified. I live in Florida, and my children and former spouse just a block away from me. At times I had to go with the Sheriff Department to pick up my children. She would only realease them seeing the cops. Now, we back to square one...this is the second time in a month and a half where she is witholding visitation. My agreement states that the children will be with me three nights starting on my first day off every week. However if I get called in to work any time she comes to take the children away or witholds visitation. Now shes using that against me saying that she have the children more time because I have been working and for that she wants more support, off course. (My spouse offers free childcare for our daughter seven days a week and on weekends when she goes out, so I don't know why she cries when I have to work) At least I am not a daddy drinking my ass off while the children are unatended! I am working so I can pay child support and provide for my children in every way they need and I feel as she uses my job to punish me by not allowing me to see them.
I found a form for civil contempt on line for my state. For future reference, how do I use this? I mean, do I just take it straight to the courthouse or should I always pay an attorney?
Thanks again

[Dogmatique]

So if you're working, Mom is coming to pick up the kids? Instead of leaving them with your wife?

[justadaddy]

So if you're working, Mom is coming to pick up the kids? Instead of leaving them with your wife?

I see your point. Here is mine.
When mom is at work from 2:0pm till 6:00pm the same "wife" babysits for HER. When mom goes out on a Friday night and I am at work, MOM drops of our children to the same "wife" to babysit. Why does she makes a big deal about my "same wife" watching our same girls when I am at work? I would let it be, except for that fact that knowing I will be home soon she takes them out of town and refuses to return them to me.
I mean, why am I being punished with not seeing my children the way I can, if the only reason why I work so hard is FOR THEM TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE? I don't take them away from her if she needs to drop them off with the sister or leave them alone.
As a matter of fact two days ago I was home and my children where in her home, alone. I told her to please bring them over to my house and pick them up after work, she told me she PREFERRED to leave them home alone and it was HER DAY I could not interfere. All that because I didn't buy a $400 dollars to my 12yo.
Am I really wrong on having that "same" wife during a short period of time while I will be at work?
If I am wrong, why can she take advantage of the care my wife provides while SHE is AT WORK or OUT?

[RAS]

Do you have a court ordered visitation schedule? If not get into court and file for one, I did myself years ago and got it, not hard to do on your own. What you do with your kids on your time is your business as long as you keep them safe. If she denies the visitation schedule, then you file for contempt of court.

Once you get the court ordered visitation, and she will not give the kids to you that scheduled time I would call the sheriff to respond to the house and you have the court ordered visitation in hand to prove that it is your time to have the kids. Show her you mean business..and if you have to work at times and your new wife is taking care of the kids that is fine. Fight for your time/rights and enforce them!

[Dogmatique]

Do you have a court ordered visitation schedule? If not get into court and file for one, I did myself years ago and got it, not hard to do on your own. What you do with your kids on your time is your business as long as you keep them safe. If she denies the visitation schedule, then you file for contempt of court.

Once you get the court ordered visitation, and she will not give the kids to you that scheduled time I would call the sheriff to respond to the house and you have the court ordered visitation in hand to prove that it is your time to have the kids. Show her you mean business..and if you have to work at times and your new wife is taking care of the kids that is fine. Fight for your time/rights and enforce them!

No.

It's NOT necessarily fine to leave the children with new wife.

And calling the sheriff is likely to result in "Sorry, we don't get involved in civil matters".

[momof3intx]

It's NOT necessarily fine to leave the children with new wife.

And calling the sheriff is likely to result in "Sorry, we don't get involved in civil matters".

I know that each state varies but I've dealt with a similar overall circumstance (though the details were much different - the stepmother in question was an alcoholic). I have sole legal custody of the kids and he has only visitation.

In regards to leaving the children with his wife while he is working, I was told by both my attorney and a judge that my ex could appoint anyone he deemed competent to care for the children during his court ordered possession and that unless I could document that the person was a threat to the children, there was nothing I could do to prevent it. And her alcoholism wasn't "sufficient cause" to keep her from caring for them during his time since she had not been convicted of any alcohol related crimes and there were no documented cases of her putting the children in danger.


In regards to calling the sheriff - they won't ENFORCE a civil order but they will accompany the parent to attempt to exercise their rights as spelled out in that order. They will also explain to the other parent that failure to comply with the order in their presence could result in the officer being called to testify against them in a court hearing.

[Dogmatique]

I know that each state varies but I've dealt with a similar overall circumstance (though the details were much different - the stepmother in question was an alcoholic). I have sole legal custody of the kids and he has only visitation.

In regards to leaving the children with his wife while he is working, I was told by both my attorney and a judge that my ex could appoint anyone he deemed competent to care for the children during his court ordered possession and that unless I could document that the person was a threat to the children, there was nothing I could do to prevent it. And her alcoholism wasn't "sufficient cause" to keep her from caring for them during his time since she had not been convicted of any alcohol related crimes and there were no documented cases of her putting the children in danger.

Your situation is obviously quite different...

...and my point was that it is NOT a given that Dad can have his wife look after the kids when he's working.

It is absolutely case-specific, moreso if ROFR is involved.

In regards to calling the sheriff - they won't ENFORCE a civil order but they will accompany the parent to attempt to exercise their rights as spelled out in that order. They will also explain to the other parent that failure to comply with the order in their presence could result in the officer being called to testify against them in a court hearing.

Not here they won't.

The Sheriff in my county, for example, won't assist or accompany a parent unless there is a direct threat to either parent or child.

What happens in John Doe's set of circumstances does not necessarily apply to Jane Smith's situation.