That's nice and fluffy, but you are on LEGAL BOARD. Not a huggy-kissy-you're-so-special board.
Obviously these people have never been in a situation where you love a child that is not your own. It is a very unselfish act of which very few people can do themselves and understand
I'm stepparent, sweetheart.
! How can people say that A having her FATHERS last name can be detrimental to her in anyway?
Because he's NOT HER FATHER.
This is about LEGALITIES.
Do you think it would be better if she is with a mother who obviously doesn't care as much about her? And is it better that she knows her mother conceived her the way she did!? NO. I am not a psychiatrist but I can tell you NO NO NO that would in no way be a batter situation! Common sense!
Overuse of exclamation points doesn't make your nonsense any less nonsensical.
It is sad no one here can look past the unfortunate past that has led you to the situation which you are actually asking help for! I would say you should definitely get a family law attorney, and arrange with her mother that you must legally adopt her (I would go for full custody), in order to have the rights you need to get her through life, and so that she can share your last name.
You're clueless. Completely clueless.
There are going to be situations where just because she shares your name isn't going to be enough, in school and legal situations, and maybe even health care? (I'm sure you have already dealt with that, but I do wonder how that is working?)
I wish you and your daughter the best in this situation! God Bless you!
Unless you have something of any relevance to post you're not going to last too long here.