Meeting an Online Friend in Real Life

[Zoid]

Alright, I'm just going to start by explaining the situation:

This girl and I met online about six months ago and we've been talking about meeting up in real life. (Please bear with me - I know most people suggest against this, but don't be too quick to judge, we're trying to be responsible about it) We decided that we'd spend the day together at a crowded amusement park, so there obviously won't be any sexual conduct (maybe pg-13 stuff if it feels natural but clearly nothing that wouldn't be allowed in public).

Anyways, the problem comes from the fact that she cannot tell her parents about this. They are very strict and certainly wouldn't approve (whether I'm from online or not), but she insists that we meet up anyways. Unfortunately, that puts me in a bad position because IF they find out, I don't want to be liable of any "Age of Consent" laws, or any others really... And this sneakiness isn't going to help my case.

Additional info:

- I'm a 19 year old male
- She will be 17 when we meet (we decided to wait a short while as a precaution, mostly pertaining to "Age of Consent" laws)
- Our birthdays are about 2.5 years apart
- We live in Texas
- My mom already approved, though she's the one who initially suggested that I wait until my friend is above the age of consent to avoid possible legal ramifications
- My friend stated in the far past that it wasn't a "date", but we've really gotten closer since then. That is why I'm not too far how this will go, but as said, nothing that would be inappropriate in public will take place

Jeez, when it's written out like this then the whole thing just seems like a bad idea but I know that if I don't do this then I'll likely regret it. I very much like and respect this girl, and would love to show my appreciation for our friendship in person - even if its just for one day. But I'm also a bit paranoid about what could go wrong, IF it goes wrong. My intentions are clearly genuine but if her parents become irate then they may look for any excuse to get me in trouble.

So what do you think? From a purely legal standpoint, am I just being paranoid or are my concerns valid?

[jreid]

I thought the age of consent in Texas is 17? Plus, I thought Texas had a 3 year rule (if you are w/in 3 years then its ok to engage in sex).

Meeting at a park isn't illegal, but its good you are being careful.

Someone should verify the age of consent and 3 year rule. I'm not sure.

[Zoid]

I thought the age of consent in Texas is 17? Plus, I thought Texas had a 3 year rule (if you are w/in 3 years then its ok to engage in sex).

Meeting at a park isn't illegal, but its good you are being careful.

Someone should verify the age of consent and 3 year rule. I'm not sure.

I did look it up prior to posting and everything I found said agrees with your belief that age of consent in Texas is 17 and the 3 year rule. In fact, that's why I posted that information about us.

Yes, I'm being very careful, thanks. It's just supposed to be a fun day with a friend but reading through this forum made me very paranoid. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better, but either way, she is definitely someone that I'd like to meet at least once. (and, yes, I accept the risks involved that "maybe" she's not who she says she is.... but that is very unlikely in my opinion).

Also, I want to add that we have no plans on having sex, in fact, I strongly believe that we'd both be against it. My worries purely stem from the possibility of angry parents wanting legal action towards me if they found out.

[Mr. Knowitall]

How about following the forum rules?

If you want to have sex with minors you meet on the Internet, you're not being paranoid - you're being stupid.

If you're just talking about meeting somebody and maybe holding hands, no state lines involved, what's the big deal about keeping the girl's parents in the loop?

[cdwjava]

Why not be respectful and meet her WITH HER PARENTS somewhere? Right now, you can only assume she is 17, your question insinuates that sex is a viable option on a first date, and you run the very serious risk of actually hooking up with some much younger than you think.

You also have to be concerned with laws governing contributing to the delinquency o fa minor or custodial interference. if it can be shown that you are encouraging this minor child from disobeying her parents, you may very well face legal consequences.

You honestly do NOT know who she is, you do NOT know what her home life is like, and you do NOT know her age. It is very likely that her parents are not the meanies she says they are, but it is very likely they would not support their child meeting some stranger from the internet - I know I wouldn't!

You are asking for trouble if you go ahead with this. But, since I imagine you will disregard any and all cautionary messages because you are young and think you "know" someone when you really don't (because you are youthful and have infinite wisdom at 19), I then encourage you to limit your togetherness to the confines amusement park, limit physical contact to hand-holding, and offer up a hearty handshake at goodbye. Fondling, groping, and heavy petting could land you in the hoosegow. Oh, and you might want to ask if her parents know where she is ... AND, do NOT offer to give her a lift ANYWHERE!!

Best advice still would be, do NOT go through with this.

[mamabear2102003]

I'm all for online friendships, and in fact I know a lot of adults that have met their spouses in this manner. Notice, I said adults. As a parent, I would have a problem with my children meeting an online friend, especially if we were not informed and not invited. You may think that you know who this girl is, BUT, I have a neice that did the very same thing..... met a guy online (he lived in a different state), told him that she was 18. They not only talked online, but moved on to phone calls and texts. (She was doing this at her grandparents house while they slept. They only live across the street from one another, so it wasn't difficult). One day they came home and found neice wasn't there (not a usual occurence), and my brother quickly checked out her online account and g'mas phone (gma had gotten her phone bill that day and noted a TON of long distance charges on it, so they felt something might be up). They went to the meeting place specified (a mall), and got there just as my neice was getting into a car with a 20 yo male that had driven from the neighboring state to meet her. At the time, she was 14... wanna guess who went to jail??? Had her parents and grandparents not shown up when they did, who knows where she might have ended up or might have happened?

If you really think that you want to meet this girl, it's IMPERATIVE that you insist that the parents be there, for your safety and hers. If that can't happen, you might want to reconsider.

[LawResearcherMissy]

Anyways, the problem comes from the fact that she cannot tell her parents about this.

Then stop right there.

She is under the age of 18. Therefore, her parents get to make ALL of the rules for her. That means if they say no, the answer is NO, and that means if y'all sneak around behind their backs and they decide to lock her up in her room until she reaches the age of majority, then they get to do exactly that, and you get to do NOTHING about it.

On the internet, no one knows you're a dog. They also don't know that you're an undercover police officer looking to nab predators, pretending to be a 17 year old girl.

Drop this like a hot rock.

[PandorasBox]

It's good you're being responsible by making it a public place.

Though I would wait until she is 18, unless she talks to her parents and gets their approval.


That said, I have made many friends online that I have later met in person. I've made some great friends. Then again, it's also how I met ex-hubby. Bear in mind, I'm also an adult (28 when I met the ex).

[Zoid]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. For the record (I should have mentioned this before), she is bringing a friend or two with her and none of us will have access to a car (we're both being dropped off). I dunno if either of those factors make a huge difference or not.

I'm going to talk to her and see if we can come up with a compromise that includes her asking for permission.

Also, she'd obviously have permission to go to the amusement park with her friends, but her parents won't know that I'm there.

[mamabear2102003]

Again, the parents should be involved. Friends lie too. Everyone is being dropped off, no vehicles available, but everyone is old enough to drive? That alone would make me nervous. A side note, as a parent, I would be impressed if a new 'friend' were to want us along so that we could get to know them. It would instill confidence in the fact that they were raised correctly and respected us as parents. Normally, if a kid doesn't want you to meet their buddies, there's something not right.