Weekday custody schedule

[Ish]

First, the details: my fiance (mother) is the sole physical guardian and shares legal custody equally with her boy's father. My fiance wants to meet with a mediator again to establish firmer boundaries that she intends for the father of their child to adhere to - in the past, she has been more forgiving about his weekends, etc., in attempts to maintain civility.

Today she informed him of the appointment she made with the mediator and outlined (briefly) what she intended to bring up. The issue here was his visitation with his son. He has every other weekend currently, as appointed by the courts previous, although he only takes him every Friday night and then returns him in the early afternoon Saturday.

His response to her was that he wanted to have increased custody even if it was during the week. He lives 45-plus minutes away from his six-year-old son's city of schooling and "home," which is the home we live in now (him, his mother, and I).

I was under the impression that bouncing a child back and forth would be unstable, especially during the school week! What possible options are there for us to take? (State is CA, btw.)

[aaron]

Does she have any reason to believe that the mediator would recommend such a schedule? Would this be "binding mediation" (for lack of a better word - true mediation would not be binding, but sometimes the line is blurred between mediation and arbitration), or would this mediation simply be to try to facilitate agreement.

[Ish]

When they first drew up an agreement, a couple years back, I guess the father of the child had the same idea (about getting visitation on any off-workday, regardless of what day that fell on). However, the courts granted him every other weekend. I had a feeling it would stay as such, especially since he is now in school during the week. It is his routine, and from what I have read elsewhere, courts favor that stability in children.

I think my fiance is just increasingly frustrated that the father continues to make these demands. So she wants to go to mediation to essentially solidify certain things, such as concrete weekends and holidays scheduling. Additionally, part of the mediation will include a rather large amount of back pay he still owes.

I really know very little about this, and my primary interest is of course the health and well being of my fiance and her son - who is like my own by now. So I mostly post for peace of mind. Thanks in advance.

[Ish]

In addition to the aforementioned, and I think this has been addressed before (but I would like a clearer explanation), is it possible for the father of the child to deny the child's mother from meeting a lady the father is going to allow to take care of his son for two weeks?

The particulars are shady, but essentially his "girlfriend" (who is married, has two kids, lives in NY, and has stayed in an abusive home - all from the child's father's own mouth) is coming out and will be watching the child while the father works. Obviously, the child's mother wants to simply meet this person, get a feel for her, make sure she isn't shifty. But the child's father is denying her that, saying he has no obligation.

Is this the case?

(Why is it that children seem to lose in almost every custody battle? Geesh.)

[aaron]

Normally a parent can choose his or her own child care provider. (At the same time, normally it wouldn't be a big deal to introduce the other parent to a child care provider.) If the mother is concerned about this, she can address it as part of the mediation.