I have what I think will be a few questions, and I truly appreciate the opportunity this forum affords to address these concerns...
I hope I chose the most appropriate forum for this communication. I say that because my grandmother (93 years old) is alive; but we are being informed that the outlook is not exactly positive.
A Will was created a few years back, and it was done so without the knowledge of one of her two daughters (my mother). My grandma, who understands very little of the law and even English, was accompanied by the other daughter (my aunt) and her husband (my uncle). A Will was created, and it was one in which the most desirable of two properties was to go to the daughter in attendance, my aunt. Also at this time, two individuals were selected for control of financial matters (my aunt), and another entrusted to make medical decisions (my uncle) on behalf of my grandma.
A couple of years later, my grandma had been admitted to a convalescence home with a broken hip and dementia. After a recent stroke, she has not been able to swallow, and while all of us are very much against a feeding tube (think Terry Shiavo) because we know she would never want such, the decision-maker (my uncle), a highly religious person, feels that it is the right thing to do. His wife, or my aunt, and all of us do not want this to happen. After much persuasion, he has thus far not requested that the doctors use a feeding tube.
My mom, as you might guess, is just dumb-founded as to how they can have this meeting without her (to create a Will), and on top of that, pick him to make such decisions. It is bad enough to witness the loss of a loved one, but then to have to battle something like this on top it, just makes this very frustrating. My mom finally asked my aunt recently why she wasn't included in that important discussion, and my aunt gave her no response (actually hung-up the phone). It was never brought-up again...
Question 1 - Does my mom have any recourse for being selectively excluded from this meeting? The ramifications to my grandma's health and treatment, and the eventual distribution of her estate have been impacted...
Since my grandma has been in a home for several years, my aunt, with power of attorney, has been collecting rents on her rental property and has been in control of her bank account and finances. Besides the aforementioned odd conditions of the Will creation, unfortunately, there have been several other instances in which my aunt has taken deliberate actions to benefit her situation, and/or that of her family.
There is now reason to believe that she might have been utilizing funds in my grandma's bank account for personal gain, besides paying for expenses related to my grandma, namely her care. We however don't know for sure as we have no reference point as to what was in the bank account, or what's in it now. Based upon past experiences, and her constant focus on money as a central topic of conversation, it is difficult to think otherwise...
Question 2 - What options does my mom have to find-out if funds were inappropriately used, and if that is indeed the case, would she have any recourse?
It is my understanding that one can gift up to 11 or so thousand dollars a year without consequence. There has been some talk about doing that for the grandchildren, me being one of three (my aunt has two children). The reasoning mentioned was to avoid taxation, which doesn't seem right if that is the motivating factor...
Question 3 - Is there some law that prohibits this, especially in the last year, and even days prior to one’s death? I seem to recall a Latin term "gift causa mortis" that deals with this aspect, but after searching the web, I'm not sure...
I find it highly unfortunate that my mind and that of my mom's needs to dwell on such matters at this time...
I thank you for taking the time to read, and respond!





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