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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2

    Default What Happens After a Domestic Disturbance Call

    My question involves police conduct in the State of: Michigan

    Hi,
    I am from Michigan and today a neighbor called the Kent County Sheriff Department on my husband and I.

    Here is what happened:

    My husband's friend took apart my computer trying to fix it, couldn't fix it, and afterwards informs me that him taking it apart has now voided my warranty.

    Today my husband and I started bickering about it in the house a bit, so we decided to go into the garage to work it out because we refuse to argue in front of our children. As I was picking up our 10 month old son, he reached out and scratched my cheeks. IT HURT. So I CALMLY set him into his exersaucer and went out to the garage THEN started crying (I didn't want to startle the baby so I kept it in until I removed myself from the situation).

    Moving on, my hubby and I are in the garage, we semi-arguing, but I'm crying while we are arguing and didn't realize how loud my voice actually was and the fact that my voice was reverberating off of the garage walls. A couple minutes into it, our middle child came outside and stopped arguing and told him he needed to go back inside and wait for us for a minute so we could finish talking. He let out this high-pitched cry thing that he does (he's 3 years old) and stomped back inside. I then turned around to walk over by the back door to see where our dog, Sookie, was. I didn't realize how close I was to the cement step-up in the garage and I bashed my left foot right into it. I let out, not a scream, more like an "aahhahaooww" type of noise and hobbled, crying harder now, and sat down. My husband is trying to make sure I am okay and everything. I however, am 6 months pregnant, irritated with my husband unjustifiably because of his friend, my face hurts and so does my foot so I start telling him to just get away from me and to leave me alone. After a minute or so he does, we calm down, and we talk everything out.

    About 20 minutes later, two police officers show up in two separate cars, and a third one shows up parked across the road. We walk out of the garage and greet them. The first officer does not even get out of his vehicle, he just sits here. The second parked her car at the end of the driveway and got out and walked up.

    I told them yes, we had been arguing and that we had been arguing about my computer. I told them that there was no physical violence involved and that we didn't mean to be so loud and I hadn't thought of the fact that our voices would echo. I told them that we do not argue in front of the kids which is why we stepped outside. He asked about a child crying, saying that a neighbor had reported that as well, and I told him our son came out and we sent him back inside and he started crying because we told him to go inside.

    At this point I'm exhausted from arguing, exhausted from crying, and he asked about me screaming. I told him I never screamed. I was like I raised my voice a bit at one point, but I never screamed from fear or pain or anything. For G-d knows what reason, me hitting my foot slipped my mind. He never even asked about my face (my baby did leave scratch marks but my cheeks were red and everything so I'm not completely sure if he even seen them).

    I apologized to him that he had to come, I even told him that I felt embarrassed one of our neighbors felt the need to call.

    Now during this whole incident, he hardly wrote any notes, the female officer did not write any notes at all, he asked for our names and our phone number, but never asked to see our ID's. He appeared to be real cool and understanding about the situation, I apologized again and thanked him for coming out and they left.

    Here's what I would like to know:

    1. Is there a chance my husband and I could be looking at any possible charges?

    2. If they come back out or anything, should I tell them that I remembered after the fact about me yiping when I hit my foot? Could I just say that I'm pregnant, I was emotional, and I was so embarrassed about them being there that I simply forgot?

    3. How likely is it they will call CPS? I told them directly that we do not ever argue in front of the children, I told him exactly why my son cried, and furthermore this is they ONLY time we've ever had a domestic disturbance call done on us. We have no priors on anything like this.

    4. The officers never asked to come inside, never asked to see the children, nothing of that sort. Is that a good or bad thing?

    5. How long until we know what's up?

    6. Any other advice you can think of?

    Thank you so much for you time and I'm sorry that my O/T is so long, but I wanted to be thorough so I could give you as much information as possible.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    27,831

    Default Re: What Happens After a Domestic Disturbance Call

    1. Is there a chance my husband and I could be looking at any possible charges?
    it depends if they believe your explanation or not

    2. If they come back out or anything, should I tell them that I remembered after the fact about me yiping when I hit my foot? Could I just say that I'm pregnant, I was emotional, and I was so embarrassed about them being there that I simply forgot?
    it would be in your best interest to say nothing.

    3. How likely is it they will call CPS? I told them directly that we do not ever argue in front of the children, I told him exactly why my son cried, and furthermore this is they ONLY time we've ever had a domestic disturbance call done on us. We have no priors on anything like this.
    No way to know. If they believed you, this is probably over. If they didn't, depending on what they don't believe will cause them to take some action.

    4. The officers never asked to come inside, never asked to see the children, nothing of that sort. Is that a good or bad thing?
    I would see it as a good thing. To me, it means they probably accepted your explanation about the 3 yo.

    5. How long until we know what's up?
    don't get in a rush. I would have to check but they most likely have at least a year to file charges (not that they would generally wait that long, but they could). I wouldn't get to happy for a week or two, at least.

    6. Any other advice you can think of?
    if the police want to reinterview you, I would suggest consulting an attorney BEFORE you speak to the police. If they want to talk to you again, that means they are still considering charges against somebody so to prevent anybody from incriminating themselves or the other party, speak with an attorney for assistance first.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,904

    Default Re: What Happens After a Domestic Disturbance Call

    If you do not want to be arrested and you do not want your husband to be arrested then the best thing you can say to the police officers, who you did not call, is "thank you for your interest, but I have nothing to say". As they press you with more questions just politely inform them "I have nothing to say". In the heat of a moment you have no idea what you might say that might sound incriminating enough to an officer that they feel compelled to make an arrest. Neither of you should answer any questions. They can interview the neighbor all they want, but if the neighbor cannot describe a crime that they witnessed then nothing will happen.

    If you have indeed been abused then they are your ticket to safety. Tell them what happened. However, if you didn't call them and you do not wish them to take any action then say nothing to them. It is very easy to inadvertently say something that sounds very innocent to you that could get one of you arrested. Something like, "well, yes, my husband accidentally scratched my face while we were arguing but he didn't mean anything by it". You want them to focus on "accidentally" and "he didn't mean anything by it" but the officer sees injury and has your statement that your husband did it, and off to jail he goes. It is better to remain silent even if it annoys the officer.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: What Happens After a Domestic Disturbance Call

    "If you have indeed been abused then they are your ticket to safety. Tell them what happened. However, if you didn't call them and you do not wish them to take any action then say nothing to them. It is very easy to inadvertently say something that sounds very innocent to you that could get one of you arrested. Something like, "well, yes, my husband accidentally scratched my face while we were arguing but he didn't mean anything by it". You want them to focus on "accidentally" and "he didn't mean anything by it" but the officer sees injury and has your statement that your husband did it, and off to jail he goes. It is better to remain silent even if it annoys the officer"

    See that's my concern is that they will think I, or the children are being abused. My husband is not now nor has he ever been abusive. What happened yesterday was an unfortunate series of events, that from a neighbor's perspective I could see why they would call. He didn't ask about the scratches nor did I tell him that I got them from the baby, and while they were there I had forgetten that I did indeed yelp when I hit my foot on the cement ledge.

    All I really told them was that we were arguing, and that we didn't realize our voices were reverberating off of the garage walls.

    My main concern is whether or not we can be charged with anything being that there was no domestic violence, and how likely it is CPS will be called.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,904

    Default Re: What Happens After a Domestic Disturbance Call

    As I said before, and will reiterate, if your goal is for nobody to go to jail then your very best course of action is to say to the police, "I have nothing to say". If what the police officer thinks is more important than keeping yourself and/or your husband out of jail, then say what ever you like. But remember, anything you say may sound very differently to a police officer than what you want it to sound like. It is a stressful moment and a stressful situation. I'd suggest you say nothing.

    If one of you was going to be charged, there would have been an arrest already. The cop may believe your husband to be a child molesting wife beater, but it doesn't matter what he believes. He had no evidence and no complaint on which he could take action. By remaining silent you tend to keep it that way. The more you talk and try to explain, the more likely you are to give him some actionable statement that would support an arrest.

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