Would a Judge Order Me to Sign

[525601minutes]

In CA - My xhusband and I have shared legal custody of our child who turned 17 this month. She is expected to graduate from high school (a year early) within the next month or so. X is encouraging her to enlist in the USAF. The recruiter has promised me that early enlistment (under the age of 18) requires the signatures of both parents.
What if I won't sign?
Can my X or daughter take this to court?
Can I be compelled to give permission?

[Xena]

In CA - My xhusband and I have shared legal custody of our child who turned 17 this month. She is expected to graduate from high school (a year early) within the next month or so. X is encouraging her to enlist in the USAF. The recruiter has promised me that early enlistment (under the age of 18) requires the signatures of both parents.
What if I won't sign?
Can my X or daughter take this to court?
Can I be compelled to give permission?

What is your reason for not wanting to sign?

[525601minutes]

I think she is rushing in to make a decision without weighing all of the options. Until about 6 months ago all she ever wanted to be was a journalist. That changed to psychologist when she took an introductory class as part of her high school classes. Now that she took the ASVAB she found out she either does not have the necessary scores for public affairs or the mental heath field - or that those specific jobs don't have any openings right now. I'm not quite sure as she is doing this all with her dad and not really filling me in on any details.

So, suddenly she has decided to go into the electronics field. I'd rather she take some time, some college classes and either wait until one of those fields opens up or she scores high enough to get one of the jobs she wants. I don't want her to make a 6 year commitment without really investigating what someone in avionics systems does, where they are stationed, etc.

I joined at 17 but had to wait 9 months to get the job I wanted - so it is not that I am against her enlisting - I just want her to go about it in a well informed and educated manner.

If you ask my X - he would say I only want to keep our daughter at home so I get continued CS and SS... and if you ask me why he wants her to enlist, I'd say it is so he can stop paying CS and SS...

[jk]

a judge cannot really make you do anything and a judge cannot simply overrule a parents decision without justification. Even when there have been the problems of a parent refusing to allow medical attention for a child, the actions required to force the parent to allow medical attention, it was a very serious and in depth process.

I don't think you have anything to worry about with a court forcing the issue, especially given your reasons.


why don't you suggest something like ROTC? You get the military benefits, you enter as an officer, and you have a college degree before you go in to the active military part of your life.

I have a friend whose child is a dentist, all paid for by the military and a nephew who is a cardiothoracic anesthesiologist all on government money.

[525601minutes]

I've been trying to explain those options to her and it's like , but I'm relieved to know my hesitance won't be automatically over ruled.

[aaron]

So, suddenly she has decided to go into the electronics field. I'd rather she take some time, some college classes and either wait until one of those fields opens up or she scores high enough to get one of the jobs she wants. I don't want her to make a 6 year commitment without really investigating what someone in avionics systems does, where they are stationed, etc.

Is she aware that, despite her preference for electronics / aviation systems, she may be assigned to a different area consistent with the needs of the military? Even if she gets a written commitment to that training and assignment in her enlistment contract, and there's a big difference between that and acknowledgement of her preference, if the military determines their needs to be different they will reassign her and will likely resist her effort to escape her contract. If she's prepared for the possibility that she may end up in a completely different role than the one she desires, great. If not, she should do a bit of Internet research on the realities of promises from recruiters.

[525601minutes]

Like the ROTC, being cross trained is falling on deaf ears. Another reason I am considering not giving my permission.

[ealexdixon]

I enlisted in the U.S. Army through a delayed entry program at age 17 and did not need the consent of both parents. And I can honestly say that I was in your daughter's position as far as figuring out what I wanted to do in life. Spending four years in the Army helped me mature a lot quicker, focus more clearly on my goals in life, and provided me with an abudance of funds for college. If your signature is required, make sure you're not signing for the right reasons. What if she gets money for college? As for the ASVAB, you can actually study and retake the ASVAB to achieve higher scores. So if she wanted to get into public affairs/mental health, she should take the time to study, and retake it in the future. There are a lot of different options, and benefits, for her in the scenario you've provided.

[525601minutes]

May I ask why both parent's signatures were not required?

[ealexdixon]

I didn't need the consent of both parents because it was a delayed entry program. Basically, I signed up in October 2001, and actually went to basic training in July 2002 (I was 18 when I left for basic training). The delayed entry program also took time off my inactive ready reserve enlistment period. I'm not sure if it's the same for every branch, but regardless of what active duty length you enlist for in the Army, you have to serve eight years. For example, I enlisted for 4 years of active duty and was obligated to serve 4 more years (minus my time in the delayed entry program) in the inactive ready reserve, so I could have been called back up (but didn't).

But back to the subject at hand, she may not need the consent of both parents. And if she does, what's going to prevent her from waiting until she's 18 to enlist and hold a grudge against a parent for not signing paperwork? Granted, I don't know all of the details of the situaiton you've presented, but if I were in your shoes, I would support my child in whatever decision they made because it's their life, especially if they went in to the military and got the experience, college money, etc. out of it. Talk to the USAF recruiter yourself, or better year, find some message boards and get information from people other than recruiters on what their experience has been like and what advice they would have for your daughter. I know from my experience, don't believe anything a recruiter says unless it's on paper (and I had a wonderful recruiter, and still look up to him to this day).

Like I said, there are a lot of different options and routes, just make sure that you, your daughter, AND your ex-husband are informed of everything. Try to be proactive about this as possible. Encourage her to study and retake the ASVAB if public affairs/mental health is something she really wants to get into. Maybe look at a different branch as well. Tell her not to settle for anything less than what her goals are. And think of the type of civilian career she would have if she were to get into public affairs/mental health with the military experience (and college money) under her belt.

If you have any questions regarding the military and want to ask me directly (since this is a legal forum), feel free to send me a private message for my e-mail.